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TDM #3
TDM #3
DREAMING (new characters)
At first, there is nothing. You are nothing. Whatever existed before ceases to be if for a moment. Then, bit by bit, you start to become aware. Where there was not even darkness now is a dim haze, gentle and almost mist-like. You have limbs again and beneath your feet lays a path of light reaching out like limbs of a great tree beneath you, twisting and climbing out into the horizon.You take a step forward for what else is there to do? As you walk you begin to remember what it was you were doing before the nothingness; maybe something as simple as chatting with a loved one or close friend. Maybe you were just beginning a great journey or facing off against an old foe. Whatever it was, you get the distinct feeling that wherever and whenever that was, it is not here. Not now.
The path of light twists off into different directions. When you look up you can see that it is not a sky above you but the sky of everything, a grand cosmic tapestry littered with not mere stars but galaxies and clusters of galaxies that gleam like crystals against the velvety backdrop of space. Admire it for a moment, if you will. You don't know how long you will drift here, but you are not alone. Other wanderers will come and go as you bask together in the vastness of creation.
It seems to you that there are two paths to walk in this place, the light and dark beckoning in turn.
❖ THE LIGHT AT THE CENTER
One leads you to the center, splintered fragments folding together and colliding until only one thing remains: a light that speaks to you with the voice of all there is and has ever been. It greets you simultaneously as an old friend and as a lost child, both rejoicing in and mourning your arrival. You remember it too, somehow, with a feeling of complex nostalgia, as if returning to a place recalled from your distant childhood.
You’ll feel the same of the other wanderers that join you in the light; you know their faces, their voices, and as you reflect upon the world of your birth, you may witness fragments of theirs as well. You feel a comradery, then, a synchronicity of thought and emotion. Are the lives of others truly so different from your own? Or are you simply two hands of the same, greater being? Though some individualistic part of you may resist, the longer you spend in the light, the more you will find yourself becoming one with it.
Despite this welcoming call, no matter how eagerly your pursue its embrace, before you can fully submerge yourself in this oneness you will find yourself being torn away. As if seized by the impossibly long, cold arm of a creature unseen, you are plucked from the edge of fulfillment. The last thing you will remember is the sensation of your world, and all the others your experienced here, collapsing into nothingness.
❖ THE DARK OUTSIDE (CW: deep despair, ego death)
The other leads towards the outside, where the splintering becomes so great that the vestiges of reality can do nothing but collapse back into the abyss at the end of everything. As you wander to these barren outskirts, your thoughts will not be drawn to familiarity and oneness, but instead to memories of discontent and waste. The darker the path becomes, the more you find yourself dwelling on life’s disappointments and injustices, of the things about yourself and your world you find wanting.
If you see others here, at first they will feel frightening or contemptible, as if representing to you the worst experiences in your life. Even if they are someone you’re certain you know, that familiarity and affection will be stripped away in the face of the great emptiness before you. In the end, you were all the same. In the end, none of this was worth it. If you approach the end together, you may even form a kind of kinship around this acknowledgment, as the need for paranoia and hatred fades.
Slowly, the darkness encroaches, and you can see it devouring all the things you once knew. Memories of your home, of those you loved, dissolve into nothing, and you can only reflect on the barren emptiness in your heart as you see it happen. In your final moments, though, you feel peace with it all, knowing that there was no other way. You step from the edge of the last dwindling fragment of being and are greeted by silence.
❖ THE END
No matter which way you go, you are left with a single impression: you feel the world you came from die. It's a realization that transcends logic or sense; it weighs on your heart and leaves the vestiges of dark memories dancing in your thoughts like motes of ash. It's a memory of your home crumbling away into nothing as if consumed from within by rot. Returned to the void, all that's left to you is to be reborn.
REBIRTH (new characters)
In a new time and place, you awaken. Stirring within a capsule of warmth and isolation your senses will slowly return, only to observe that you are trapped. Your body, as it wakes, is tangled in close, yours eyes unable to open, as if still within the womb. You are held tight in the embrace of something unyielding, so smothering that at first you only have the strength to struggle for moments at a time. Yet, as you persist, the pressure begins to relent in turn; it may take hours, but eventually you will find the purchase to push, to claw, to fight, and it will all give way.The chrysalis surrounding you bends like flesh and cracks like glass. It tears as you force your fingers through, finding liberation one inch at a time, until finally you have emerged. As if having undergone metamorphosis, you feel old and new all at once. You are weak, piteously so, but the markings and scars of your previous life remain. As you slump down upon the smooth cavern stone, you realize that you've just wrenched yourself free of gigantic crystal, though its hollow, shimmering form is now in pieces on account of your passing. Somewhere on your body, a shard of similar material remains embedded.
The cave itself looks almost like the inside of a geode, the walls and ceiling bedazzled with greyish crystal that shines with all the colors of the rainbow. While they vary wildly in size and shape, only a few have grown large enough to hold a form like yours, and you can see the one you just escaped isn't the only one bearing a passenger within. They may have already hatched, or they may still be lingering in stasis. Either way, there's enough time that you may have a chance to speak to yours unexpected peers, or to perhaps to struggle to find something to cover your naked body with. You feel the chill of the open air against your moisture laden skin, a distant light trickling in through the cavern's opening.
Make the most of this time. It won't be long before you're interrupted.
[Mod Note: If you don't want to deal with your character being naked in front of the others at that location, feel free to assume they emerge at a different time than the others of their legacy. Characters will be 'hatching' over a period of several hours.]
DREAMING (OLD CHARACTERS)
For those already in Horos, they will find themselves in the same dreamscape as the new arrivals, only, this time, it's familiar. You'll feel more cognizant of your surroundings as you reawaken in this psychedelic realm, more in control of your emotions. What's more, you recognize that light at the center and the darkness at the edge: it's the Pleroma and Kenoma respectively. The one you are attuned to will call our to your soul, and though you are technically free to wander as you please, the closer you get to the force of your opposite sect, the more it will grate against you spiritually. Pleroma attuned nearing the Kenoma will feel as if its presence is desperately trying to tear them apart, and Kenoma attuned nearing the Pleroma will feel as if its light is burning them from the inside out.
More importantly, you notice that entirely new souls are wandering here with faces you didn't see in the cavern. It gradually becomes clear that they are Aions in the same state you were prior to your rebirth, lost and wandering this stretch of the cosmos with no idea what's to come. Maybe this is your chance to ease the confusion of their arrival, or maybe you'd simply like to scope out what kind of people are on their way. It's also possible for you to run into Aions already in Horos, wandering just like you are. Unfortunately, things are a lot less neutral than they are the last time you shared this realm.
No matter what you do, eventually the cosmos above will begin to burn out, just as it did the first time you were here. As darkness swallows reality itself, you will wake with the visceral memory of your world corrupting and breaking apart.
More importantly, you notice that entirely new souls are wandering here with faces you didn't see in the cavern. It gradually becomes clear that they are Aions in the same state you were prior to your rebirth, lost and wandering this stretch of the cosmos with no idea what's to come. Maybe this is your chance to ease the confusion of their arrival, or maybe you'd simply like to scope out what kind of people are on their way. It's also possible for you to run into Aions already in Horos, wandering just like you are. Unfortunately, things are a lot less neutral than they are the last time you shared this realm.
No matter what you do, eventually the cosmos above will begin to burn out, just as it did the first time you were here. As darkness swallows reality itself, you will wake with the visceral memory of your world corrupting and breaking apart.
SEARCHING (OLD CHARACTERS)
Soon after the dreams begin, it will become clear that the Aion NPCs of either sect are also aware of what's happening. For those in Achamoth and Greentruth, the imminent arrival of new Aions will become a matter of official discussion. All able Aions will be called upon for their aid, in whatever way they can offer. Getting to the shrines themselves will be easily accomplished via teleportation. What's would be more complicated is ferrying any new arrivals back to a secure location. Thankfully, this is something both sects have already prepared for. All characters will have the opportunity to acquire a 'returning stone' if they don't already have one. In all cases, this will amount to an amulet made of the same shimmering material as the shrine monuments, though the stylization differs between the Pleroma and the Kenoma. While regular Aion teleportation can bring you to any of the shrines you know the sigil and location of, a returning stone is magically programmed to bring its wearer back to a specific destination to which it is attuned. Normally, these stones will only be able to store enough energy for one 'return' a month, but it turns out that the ambient power created by the shrines being active will temporarily super charge them. Though it's not guaranteed, this means they may generate enough energy to perform multiple returns for TDM purposes. More information about returning stones can be found on the powers page.
Spare returning stones will be issued to all Aions so that they can be used to bring back anyone they collect, as it's possible to bring someone alongside you if they are also wearing a returning stone. Where your stone leads will depend on your sect.
❖ PLEROMA
Tehri will be the one to supply returning stones, based out of Greentruth. She will not travel to Godsblood to deliver returning stones to those that have not visited Greentruth, but it can be assumed that Greentruth's visitors can pass them along to anyone who has been staying in the city. The returning stones are set to bring them to a secure location beneath the water of Godsblood's coast. From there, new arrivals will have to be allowed to rest and then brought up into the city when they're ready.
Greentruth is limited in its resources, but it will attempt to send troops to the Innocent, Seeker, Wanderer, and Firebrand shrines, all of which are close to the forest. Compared to the last attempt, these troops are a bit better armored. Meanwhile, bolstered by recent events in Godsblood, bands of Resistance members and guerrilla fighters will turn up at the Artisan and Sovereign shrines. The Resistance members will work willingly alongside with the Pleroma Aions, but the guerrilla fighters seem to have their own priorities and that is mostly that they have a beef with the Achamites. These reinforcements will struggle against powered Aions, but they might be able to delay any troops sent by Achamoth or Hylici.
❖ KENOMA
Xishen will be handing out returning stones to all Kenoma the day after the dreams begin for the Aions that don't already have one. She'll explain how to use them, and state that the Regent expects for them to head to the shrines once they become fully active. The Kenoma will have whatever mundane weapons or supplies they need at their disposal for this mission, along with minimal Achamite reinforcements. Due to injuries and death in both Godsblood and Venera, many are in recovery or on their return to Achamoth. She'll reiterate not to rely too heavily on them; after all, only the Aions are able to quickly move between the shrines and at the Citadel. The regular troops will have to be deployed by river or by land, and mobilizing them will take time. They will feasible be able to reach all of the shrines to some degree or another, but will more easily populate the shrines of the Martyr, Celebrant, Lover, Champion, Visionary, Sovereign, and Firebrand.
The Hylicians will be called to fill in the ranks of the diminished Achamite troops. They follow the orders that they are given but are very standoffish otherwise, even more than usual for them. Xishen herself says she will be traveling to the shrines and the Kenoma will be expected to communicate their movements to her as they work. Dionys remains in Achamoth to 'keep watch'. All Kenoma Aions will be given a familiar vial of black sludge, and are instructed to feed it to any Aions they capture at the shrines. It will cause the same effects it did in the cavern, though it will resolve in a few days rather than a week.
RETURNED (ALL CHARACTERS)
New characters that are found a the shrines will be brought back to one of two lodestones, depending on which sect they are taken by. This will be accomplished by their escort putting a 'returning stone' around their neck that will enable them to be teleported to a secure area in their sect's territory. It is advised for your character to be taken by whichever sect you'd like them to end up in.
❖ TO THE PLEROMA
In a dazzling flash of psychedelic light, you will find yourself brought to the Pleroma's lodestone: a monolithic rock set in the center of temple-like ruins. The entire cavern is hidden away beneath the ocean waves, just outside of Godsblood, and the ceiling itself is comprised of nothing but a barrier of water, as if held back from filling the space by some unknown force. The waters surrounding the lodestone are exactly body temperature, with swarms of tiny, violently iridescent fish darting through it. Crabs that look as if they're made of pure, clear crystal wander the sparkling, sandy shores.
There isn't much here in the way of accommodations, but it's comfortable enough that the new arrivals brought in by the Pleroma can take a moment to catch their breath. Some relatively plain but assorted new clothing will have been brought to the cavern to make sure they are actually clothed, as well as blankets and basic food items. It's a good time to ask your questions, or if you are an established Pleroma, to help out your freshly arrived peers. After all, their welcome at the shrine may have been a confusing one.
New arrivals will be permitted to leave the lodestone's temple when they are ready. Unfortunately, the only ways out of these place are through your choice of either swimming through pockets of water that eventually lead to the surface, or by spelunking through a series of tunnels to make your way the cliff faces near the city of Godsblood. More information about the city itself can be found on the setting page, though it would be preferable to keep TDM interactions to the lodestone area. As characters emerging from the shrines will start our as Untouched (more info about attunements here) they will not be permitted entry into Greentruth until they have attuned to Pleroma.
❖ TO THE KENOMA
As your returning stone activates, you will feel yourself thrust into a suffocating void, only to emerge just as quickly somewhere else. The most pressing thing on the minds of anyone taken by the Kenoma will be the vial of pitch black sludge they are forced to drink, whether it is before or after their arrival. Maybe their 'escort' from the shrine gave it to them, or perhaps another Kenoma does soon after they arrive. If not, one of the Achamite cultists wandering around definitely will. Dedicated servants to the Regent's will as they are, they are not afraid to gang up on the vulnerable new arrivals and force it down their throats.
Once in your mouth, the potion will slither down your throat as if it's a living thing. The effect takes hold quickly: as this darkness creeps through your insides, it will embolden your darkest and most despair inducing emotions, plaguing your thoughts with the worst sorrows of your life. What's worst, it simultaneously seems to awaken some form of enhanced psychic empathy within you, both projecting your thoughts for others to hear, and allowing you to receive those of the others around you in kind. Black ooze will begin to seep from orifices, or the space around your shard. The effects of this contamination bring out your worst, and its recipients will be forced to live with these effects until they accept the force corrupting them into their souls.
This world is not good enough, a voice speaks to your through the Kenoma. This suffering you feel, the cruelty that has birthed this darkness in you... it is simply the rot that is consuming this existence. A better universe awaits, one forged by your own hand, and all you need do is first bring about this broken reality's end.
How long this goes on will depend on how long the characters is able to fight it. Acceptance of the Kenoma can come as quickly as immediately, if your character is inclined towards it, or it could be drawn out to take a few days. In the meantime, they will have to stay in the barren halls surrounding the Regent's lodestone, and will not be permitted to exit into the greater Citadel as the current Kenoma are. All that will immediately be offered to them down there are stone slabs that can be used as beds and formless white robes that reach down past their knees.
Of course, that doesn't mean the characters that are already of the Kenoma can't do something about that. If they desire it, they will be able to bring food or other supplies to those suffering with their Kenoma infections, and it will be equally within their power to try anything from bullying them into accepting to lovebombing them. Once a character accepts the Kenoma and attunes to it, they will be permitted to leave, but for the sake of the TDM interactions should be kept to the lodestone area.
❖ TO THE PLEROMAIn a dazzling flash of psychedelic light, you will find yourself brought to the Pleroma's lodestone: a monolithic rock set in the center of temple-like ruins. The entire cavern is hidden away beneath the ocean waves, just outside of Godsblood, and the ceiling itself is comprised of nothing but a barrier of water, as if held back from filling the space by some unknown force. The waters surrounding the lodestone are exactly body temperature, with swarms of tiny, violently iridescent fish darting through it. Crabs that look as if they're made of pure, clear crystal wander the sparkling, sandy shores.
There isn't much here in the way of accommodations, but it's comfortable enough that the new arrivals brought in by the Pleroma can take a moment to catch their breath. Some relatively plain but assorted new clothing will have been brought to the cavern to make sure they are actually clothed, as well as blankets and basic food items. It's a good time to ask your questions, or if you are an established Pleroma, to help out your freshly arrived peers. After all, their welcome at the shrine may have been a confusing one.
New arrivals will be permitted to leave the lodestone's temple when they are ready. Unfortunately, the only ways out of these place are through your choice of either swimming through pockets of water that eventually lead to the surface, or by spelunking through a series of tunnels to make your way the cliff faces near the city of Godsblood. More information about the city itself can be found on the setting page, though it would be preferable to keep TDM interactions to the lodestone area. As characters emerging from the shrines will start our as Untouched (more info about attunements here) they will not be permitted entry into Greentruth until they have attuned to Pleroma.
❖ TO THE KENOMAAs your returning stone activates, you will feel yourself thrust into a suffocating void, only to emerge just as quickly somewhere else. The most pressing thing on the minds of anyone taken by the Kenoma will be the vial of pitch black sludge they are forced to drink, whether it is before or after their arrival. Maybe their 'escort' from the shrine gave it to them, or perhaps another Kenoma does soon after they arrive. If not, one of the Achamite cultists wandering around definitely will. Dedicated servants to the Regent's will as they are, they are not afraid to gang up on the vulnerable new arrivals and force it down their throats.
Once in your mouth, the potion will slither down your throat as if it's a living thing. The effect takes hold quickly: as this darkness creeps through your insides, it will embolden your darkest and most despair inducing emotions, plaguing your thoughts with the worst sorrows of your life. What's worst, it simultaneously seems to awaken some form of enhanced psychic empathy within you, both projecting your thoughts for others to hear, and allowing you to receive those of the others around you in kind. Black ooze will begin to seep from orifices, or the space around your shard. The effects of this contamination bring out your worst, and its recipients will be forced to live with these effects until they accept the force corrupting them into their souls.
This world is not good enough, a voice speaks to your through the Kenoma. This suffering you feel, the cruelty that has birthed this darkness in you... it is simply the rot that is consuming this existence. A better universe awaits, one forged by your own hand, and all you need do is first bring about this broken reality's end.
How long this goes on will depend on how long the characters is able to fight it. Acceptance of the Kenoma can come as quickly as immediately, if your character is inclined towards it, or it could be drawn out to take a few days. In the meantime, they will have to stay in the barren halls surrounding the Regent's lodestone, and will not be permitted to exit into the greater Citadel as the current Kenoma are. All that will immediately be offered to them down there are stone slabs that can be used as beds and formless white robes that reach down past their knees.
Of course, that doesn't mean the characters that are already of the Kenoma can't do something about that. If they desire it, they will be able to bring food or other supplies to those suffering with their Kenoma infections, and it will be equally within their power to try anything from bullying them into accepting to lovebombing them. Once a character accepts the Kenoma and attunes to it, they will be permitted to leave, but for the sake of the TDM interactions should be kept to the lodestone area.
QUESTIONS
Is this TDM canon?
Mostly! It's part of an in-game event. However, only threads with new players that app and are accepted will be considered game canon. Threads between old characters will all be canon, but threads involving new characters that don't apply or aren't accepted will either need to be tweaked to remove their involvement or made non-canon. New characters will also be able to decide TDM threads aren't canon if they end up changing directions.
Who can toplevel on this post?
Anyone, whether they are a new character or a current one. However, we do ask for current players to do their best to tag new characters. If you are bringing in a new character and want a current character to bring them into your sect of choice, post your request here! ICly, current characters are fighting to claim new arrivals, but it's up to the player of new characters where they ultimately end up going.
When is this TDM taking place chronologically?
The beginning of August. The shrines will be active and forming Aions during that time. The dreams will start around the 29th of July. All current Aions will be able to sense when it's time for the new arrivals to start emerging.
What are the shrines like?
Every shrine is comprised of the crystal-filled cavern character emerge inside and then the massive statue symbolizing the relevant Legacy built on top. More information about each shrine can be found in the "Aion Shrine" section of the setting page.
Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
New characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their initial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
How does attunement to the Pleroma or Kenoma work for new characters?
More information about sect attunements can be read on their dedicated info page, but in summary: when new characters are brought to Horos, they will be in the state of being "Untouched" meaning they are not attuned to either sect. By the end of their first month in game it is expected they will either attune to Pleroma or Kenoma, though for those taken by the Kenoma's forces, the transition will be forced within the first few days. If taken in by the Pleroma, it may take then some time to attune to Pleroma, depending on the strength of their spirit, but it could also happen almost instantly if they are allowed to. How quickly it happens will depend on how strongly they align with the Pleroma's traits. Characters who have been taken by the Pleroma but that remain Untouched will not be allowed into Greentruth until their attunement to Pleroma is complete.
Can a character taken by one side end up attuning to the sect of the opposite one?
This is theoretically possible, yes: a person taken by the Kenoma could potentially resist the Kenoma's call, and someone taken by the Pleroma could end up falling to the Kenoma while staying with them. Generally, though, we recommend that you have your character be taken by whichever sect you want to end up in, as doing a switcheroo will cause narrative complications that might bog their introduction down in plotting that will need to be done with the mods. It can happen, but it is not to be done lightly!
Mostly! It's part of an in-game event. However, only threads with new players that app and are accepted will be considered game canon. Threads between old characters will all be canon, but threads involving new characters that don't apply or aren't accepted will either need to be tweaked to remove their involvement or made non-canon. New characters will also be able to decide TDM threads aren't canon if they end up changing directions.
Who can toplevel on this post?
Anyone, whether they are a new character or a current one. However, we do ask for current players to do their best to tag new characters. If you are bringing in a new character and want a current character to bring them into your sect of choice, post your request here! ICly, current characters are fighting to claim new arrivals, but it's up to the player of new characters where they ultimately end up going.
When is this TDM taking place chronologically?
The beginning of August. The shrines will be active and forming Aions during that time. The dreams will start around the 29th of July. All current Aions will be able to sense when it's time for the new arrivals to start emerging.
What are the shrines like?
Every shrine is comprised of the crystal-filled cavern character emerge inside and then the massive statue symbolizing the relevant Legacy built on top. More information about each shrine can be found in the "Aion Shrine" section of the setting page.
Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
New characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their initial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
How does attunement to the Pleroma or Kenoma work for new characters?
More information about sect attunements can be read on their dedicated info page, but in summary: when new characters are brought to Horos, they will be in the state of being "Untouched" meaning they are not attuned to either sect. By the end of their first month in game it is expected they will either attune to Pleroma or Kenoma, though for those taken by the Kenoma's forces, the transition will be forced within the first few days. If taken in by the Pleroma, it may take then some time to attune to Pleroma, depending on the strength of their spirit, but it could also happen almost instantly if they are allowed to. How quickly it happens will depend on how strongly they align with the Pleroma's traits. Characters who have been taken by the Pleroma but that remain Untouched will not be allowed into Greentruth until their attunement to Pleroma is complete.
Can a character taken by one side end up attuning to the sect of the opposite one?
This is theoretically possible, yes: a person taken by the Kenoma could potentially resist the Kenoma's call, and someone taken by the Pleroma could end up falling to the Kenoma while staying with them. Generally, though, we recommend that you have your character be taken by whichever sect you want to end up in, as doing a switcheroo will cause narrative complications that might bog their introduction down in plotting that will need to be done with the mods. It can happen, but it is not to be done lightly!
no subject
Except not once have her emotions gone up? They've just plateaued, and then dipped down, further and further. The world is gone. Down. She's all alone. Down. The fact that this situation rings familiar too, is something that she hates. She hates thinking of Kaizenix, of all her years spent there.
Is it going to be the same here?
Sure, she hasn't woken up in the body of an infant or anything, but crawling out of that chrysalis almost feels like the same thing. She's definitely weak as an infant. She can't even throw a rock, or run a mile without grabbing her side. It's some kind of miracle that she's traveled all the way here, in fact. On her feet, sometimes hitching a ride, feeling bruised and broken and not quite whole. She hates this feeling. That, and she hates how dangerously close she is to feeling terribly sorry for herself. Godsblood doesn't quite manage to be the distraction she's aiming for, so she keeps on stomping through the city, grumbling and muttering to herself, thinking sad trombone thoughts while not paying attention to anything around her, which is why she ends up colliding with a complete stranger.
Her first instinct is to snipe and then move on, but the image of those books scattered on the ground keeps her in place. Maybe it's the writer in here that makes her stay, maybe it's because this random person crouching down to pick up their books is emanating a Vibe that feels almost as sad as her inner thoughts........
Whichever it is, she crouches down too, grabbing a book and staring at its title. Can she judge this complete stranger on their literary tastes? Maybe Dokja is reading erotica?]
no subject
Also it's not erotica? Why is she not the first person to assume this upon discovering he reads books?? It's a fantasy book, thank you very much, and it was hard to acquire so leave him alone.
He didn't think this stranger would be sticking around to help him pick up his books, but he doesn't comment on it as he continues gathering them from the ground, raising his hand to shift his hood a little lower over his eyes. Once that's done, he finally glances over to where the stranger crouches, only finding it a little weird that instead of quickly handing the book to him, she's... checking it out? Well, that's fine. Maybe she's into reading, too, in which case he can recommend that title and...
... Ah.
His gaze had gone to her face, and in that moment, it's like time stands still. The person before him is every single one of his dreams and nightmares combined into one, and his heart seizes in his chest. He forgets to breathe, a shrill sound rings in his ears, and he feels light-headed. This can't be real. Another hallucination. Another something because there's no way... Not her. Not here. Not after everything that's happened. ]
Han... Sooyoung...?
no subject
But it's not, and so she keeps holding the book awkwardly in her hands, waiting for its owner to ask for it back.
That's what she expects, so it's why she immediately blinks up at the sound of her name instead, clearly startled --]
-- Huh?
[she sees the robes first, the hood, then the mask that obscures the entirety of this person's face -- except for their eyes.
just a normal set of eyes. an incredibly common pair of eyes? plain, brown... staring back at her. just that sliver shouldn't be enough to recognize anyone, but it's not just the eyes. it's the tilt of her neck as she looks up, up, up, it an angle she's intimately aware of.
...she'd have to crane her head higher for yoo joonghyuk, tilt her head lower for yoo sangah --
She's still holding this person's book, but her other hand is free to reach and try and grab the edge of this stranger's robe,]
You. Show me your face.
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Already crouched like he is, it's not a far drop when his knees crash down on the pavement, one hand bracing himself on the floor while the other he'd had at his chest comes up, fingers trembling as they hook themselves over the top of his mask to heed her demand.
—And then he stops. He stops because just past her shoulder, he sees people turning to look their way. They're on the streets of Godsblood and sure to attract attention this way, and if she's seen with him, then they'll associate her with him, and then... and then...
His hand falls away from his face and drops down to where she has a hold of him. Like this, holding her wrist in such a tentative way in fear that she might just disappear altogether, he feels something inside of him shatter into pieces. She's real. He's touching her and she's not going anywhere. ]
I can't.
[ Not here, not in public like this. He has to protect her. So with shaking legs, he tries to push himself back up to his feet, only to drop back down immediately. All the strength's left him and he feels so weak, so lost. Han Sooyoung. In this place. She should be back with the others, so then why? Why is she here? ]
me belatedly realizing to put up a spoiler warning for orv
Which is fair, because she's still having trouble processing his --]
You...
[she bites off the end, lapses into silence as her hands start to shake a little too in return. she doesn't have predictive plagiarism anymore, nothing to tell her all the million ways this could go wrong or right.
but she still has her eyes and she can put two and two together. dokja in disguise, meaning that he doesn't want to be found.]
-- God, you're completely smashed, aren't you? [her voice, loud and high-pitched and maybe a bit too frenetic] I thought I told you to stop drinking before five...!
[she belatedly realizes that she has no idea how they record time here, but you know what, that's fine. she crouches down with him, speedily gathering books while shoving some into his arms]
Come on, get up! We're going -- home!
[if only so she can sling both arms around his and somehow yank him to standing. the look in her eyes is beyond complicated, too many thoughts and feelings that she can't acknowledge at the moment, but she manages to glare an approximation of "get up right now or so help me god kim dokja im going to kick your ass"
hopefully whoever's watching this scene will get bored of the display, or at least ignore it. just another drunk and their wonderful, magnanimous best friend helping them home!!]
hello this is my walking spoiler
He can't believe this, he can't. All his guilt comes crashing down on him and he feels the familiar stinging in his eyes, the way his throat seems to close up on itself. This is the person he owes literally everything to and he'd imagined time and time again all the things he wished he could say to her should they ever find each other again.
And now that she's here, he can't even speak.
With a shuddering breath, he exhales. Slow and quiet. It does nothing to aid his racing heart, but it does afford him a moment of clarity. Enough that he thinks to stumble back toward the mouth of the alleyway that he'd just left, books falling forgotten to the ground as he pulls her along with him without saying a word.
Even in this state, he knows to get her off the streets. The people of Godsblood are too high-strung after the failed execution of Vaeka, so the sooner they get away from the public eye, the better. ]
picks him up mine now
she hadn't actually known what to do after "pull him up and pretend that everything is normal". no doubt she'd have just stood there gaping at him like an idiot -- which she's tempted to do even now. but he's moving, and it's easy enough to move after him. pretend that this is yet another scheme they're carrying out. she looks at the books scattered on the ground and a part of her wants to stop and pick them up, but her hands are full. one hand holding a book, the other reaching out to grab a fistful of cloak.
no way in hell she's letting either of these things go -- letting him go. this whole moment feels as fragile as spun glass, like it'll all fall apart as soon as she says a single word.
...then shouldn't she say something? if it's a lie? better to have it all collapse, rather than let it keep going, right? she'd done the same to the other dokja. she'd broken him apart in her selfish rage, too bitter to accept the kind lie over the cold truth. she should do the same now. it's only right. it's only fair.
...
she keeps walking instead, because sometimes you're a hypocrite and you don't even care, and sometimes you want the illusion to keep going just a little bit longer, because you're just so tired of waking up.]
you can have him
His hands shake as one reaches up to pull down his mask while the other pushes his hood away from his face. And there's no mistaking him, even with dark circles more prominent than ever before, even with his bangs that reach past his eyes now and a stark gauntness to his cheeks. He doesn't look like he's been eating enough, sleeping enough, and he hasn't. How can he? Five months in Horos and the neglect he's placed himself in has done a number on him.
There's a distinct wetness around his eyes, sliding down his cheek, and he's only distantly aware that he's crying when he finally lifts his gaze off the ground to meet her own. ]
How...
[ His voice comes out in a rasp, throat working against him as he swallows to try and get out the words. ]
How are you here? When did you get here?
[ As much as he wants to fall to his knees and beg for her forgiveness, to ask her why she had done what she did for him, more than twenty-one thousand years spent in guilt-ridden agony, he... has to hold it together. ]
can i have all of him this time....
Instead, she runs her eyes over the person standing in front of her, watches them slip off the mask and the hood, watches them look down at her, eyes glinting. She'd jolt at the sight of tears -- but she's already frozen by the sight of him. He's looking at her and his mouth is shaping words and something must be wrong with this place because her vision is growing fuzzy around the edges and she can't hear a single thing. just the blood rushing to her head like a drumbeat --
she lurches forward unsteadily, like she can't decide whether or not she wants to grab onto him or punch him -- and ends up planting the book in her hand against dokja's chest instead,]
...Which one?
[words are her lifeblood and yet she can barely get them out, the corners of the book press harder against skin]
Which one are you?
[which one is this? which kim dokja?]
we gotta cut him in half again... 24% now
Because it was better than nothing at all.
He raises his hand to swipe at his tears, breath rattling at every inhale and exhale. He's no stranger to crying in front of her, but there's something especially shameful about it now. ]
... The one who stayed behind.
[ His voice is barely above a whisper, almost lost to the distant hustle and bustle of the city surrounding them. He could have lied, the way he always seems to do, but it's honesty that comes forward this time. Doesn't he owe that much to her? ]
I'm sorry.
NO!!!
'the one who lied to them yet again'
her hand trembles, and the book falls flat on its spine, pages fluttering.
'the one they'd been looking for'
'the one she wanted to see'
she'd imagined this moment so many times. during those weeks of planning, then between scenarios, brief moments where sooyoung would stare at a blank page, glance at the screen of her phone. "things i'll do to dokja when i see his stupid face again" with "kick his ass" underlined thrice, because the idea of failing was absolutely unthinkable.
and then she had. but now he's here. without the world, without the rest of their group to welcome him. only her and yoo joonghyuk, who sooyoung's already lost somehow along the way. these are really the worst circumstances.
and yet.
she can't deny the lightness in her heart. she can't deny that the smallest part of her is still happy to see him, even though she shouldn't be -- she doesn't have the right to be. she wanted to go back, needled everyone else into going back with her, and now the world's destroyed and they're all gone but dokja -- dokja is still here -- he's...]
You crazy idiot. You absolute moron. You -- you... [she grabs his wrist more tightly as she presses her arm across her face, her words muffled]
...Tell me why. Was it because of the world? Would it have stopped existing?
[she's had her theories. she's not sure why she's asking when she knows they're right.]
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A story written just for him.
He had wanted to tell Han Sooyoung that the reason he could live was because of her, that he loved Ways of Survival more than he had ever loved anything else in the world. That he was sorry, thankful, confused. Even now as he watches on with a deep sorrow as she holds on to him, the way she lifts her arm to hide her face, he has to wonder why it could ever be worth it for someone like him.
He had done to this her. He had done this to every person he ever cared about.
Pressing his free hand over his eyes, Dokja nods. He can't trust himself to speak at first, emotions weighing him down as the years and years of solitude, of trying to atone for his countless sins, reemerge to remind him of how little he had actually suffered compared to the others. ]
I... I had to keep reading, [ he finally says, voice shaking with the effort. ] It was the only way.
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Maybe this is punishment too, for always wanting to be. ]
You should have said something. [I should have known.] We were there with you! We saw them take the Oldest Dream! [I should have looked back one more time.] You...
[Why does it have to be this way? She'd written that story -- that person who she can't reconcile as herself just yet -- but still, she's responsible too. did the story -- did it trap him -- all of them into this? she's crying in earnest now, grief deepening her voice and making her stumble over words that mean little too late now,]
Why did you let us leave? With just an Avatar -- like that would have made us happy! Like we wouldn't have noticed! We could have stayed with you, we could have figured it out together!
[or maybe they wouldn't have, and she's just saying that now, throwing each word out like a accusation that misses its mark. she's throwing it at the wrong person,]
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I'm sorry, [ he repeats as his voice cracks, swallowing around the lump in his throat. ] I'm so sorry.
[ But even hearing her words, her protests, nothing in his mind changes. It really had been the only way to repay back the debts he owed, the lives he had selfishly destroyed, all for the sake of one reader.
He's not worth it. ]
That wasn't just an Avatar... It was me, too. I thought that would be enough.
[ 49% of him... Nearly half. He couldn't bring himself to give more away, but he had hoped they could learn to be happy with what they had. And if not that, then it would at least give him the time to reach his desired ending before they could get to him. ]
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She won't stab him this time. She feels like he's been stabbed enough,]
You and I both know that it's not enough.
[Because Sooyoung has the Avatar ability, and out of everyone else in their group, only Dokja would really know exactly what that would entail.]
That guy likes tomatoes. He doesn't remember Ways of Survival -- he doesn't even read it on his phone. He's missing memories -- and...
[and then he'd told them how dokja wouldn't have wanted this -- wouldn't have wanted them to regress and look for him again. that the person sooyoung wants so desperately to be fake would be the one person who understands dokja the best.
she sees the irony there, and it makes her cry a little harder -- tears of anger and self-recrimination and embarrassment, and she wants to lash out like always, be a little cruel in return for something that's not even dokja's fault --]
...We went back. Yoo Joonghyuk's Stigma... It let us all regress.
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But even that hadn't been enough.
As he rests his chin against the top of her head, he stares down at his scarred hands and remembers the way he'd pressed his fingers to the glass of that subway train in an effort to speed up the process of his decay. He had just been a shell of himself, then, kind of like he is now, all restless energy and a darkness steeped into his gaze that he can't seem to pull himself out of. It's why he had cornered a child here in a weak attempt to reach his desired ending, only for things to have turned out in this way instead.
If he really had died that day in the Veneran church garden, he wouldn't have seen Sooyoung here today.
... Or learned about the group regression. ]
What?
[ Dokja draws back, a look of shock on his face as he pulls away to stare down at Sooyoung. He... had considered it. Not a group regression but considered them coming up with ideas to rescue him, but not like this. To go to such a length... ]
Why would you do that?
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The way hearing that makes her even more angry, but also -- well, what would they? why would they go back? why would they do it all over again? she'd been hiding her face the entire time, but she finally looks up at dokja, eyes puffy and red and glaring]
Stupid. Why wouldn't we? What else were we gonna do?
[live happily and in peace??? no, sooyoung would never -- and she hadn't let the others live peacefully either, which is a thought she wants to avoid thinking -- she can stand here in front of dokja and think of all the ways she's failed, but she doesn't want to. she's so tired.
she could say 'because we love you' but she thinks of her other self writing her fingers down to the bone, writing a novel for dokja's happiness without ever asking if he'd wanted something like that, and she mentally recoils,
so instead of telling that THEY LOVE HIM, she rubs at her eyes,]
Anyway, it was Yoo Joonghyuk's idea in the first place. You're gonna have to ask him why.
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See them one more time.
Tell them they did a good job. That they suffered a lot.
And then the pounding of his heart is replaced with a static white noise at what Sooyoung says next.
Dokja's hands go to her shoulders, and he momentarily forgets how to breathe. What had she said? What had she said... It's not enough that Sooyoung is in this place, but him too? ]
... Yoo Joonghyuk is here...?
[ He immediately glances up and to the sides, as if expecting the other man to be there. If Sooyoung is here, then he can't be far, isn't that right? Don't tell Dokja that the bastard ran off on his own again... ]
yuul im crying im so sad
She still can't read him. Losing him and wanting to save him hasn't fixed that, but -- she thinks... She thinks she can, maybe a little?
Is he sad? Or is he happy?
Then his hands go up to her shoulders, and the shock appears on his face -- this one far easier to read. The look of hesitance on her face too, as she turns her gaze down and mumbles, loud enough to hear.]
...He should be. I saw him in that dream... But he wasn't where I woke up. Ugh. He probably ran into the forest butt naked like the idiot he is.
[Does she feel responsible? She does. She'd been the one who told Yoo Joonghyuk to walk that path with her. Isn't she responsible for where it might have led him?
...She's worried, damn it. She found Dokja and lost Joonghyuk. She hates them both so much.]
just stop being sad?
He opens and closes his mouth uselessly, expression faraway before he snaps back to the present and fixes his gaze back on Sooyoung. ]
That's okay.
[ It comes out in a rush, one hand moving off her shoulder to instead rest above his sternum, where his shard lays. ]
We'll find him. And then...
[ He trails off. And then what? They'll go back to being how they used to be? What an impossible idea. Dokja's unforgivable, he knows that much, and he'd long accepted that he would never see them again, so why...? ]
pummels you
It's not as if she'd been expecting him to have the answers or a plan right now. He's clearly shaken, and Sooyoung suddenly realizes that she has no idea. She doesn't know anything about what Dokja's seen here or experienced, why he looks so ill -- almost worse than the 49% Dokja -- bangs longer than she remembers draping over his eyes,]
Of course we'll find him? Or he'll find us. Doesn't he always know where you are?
[scary bastard (affectionate). She rubs at her eyes some more with her sleeve, as if rubbing will somehow erase her previous tears,]
More importantly, Kim Dokja. You need to tell me what's going on. What the hell is up with this second-rate isekai fantasy bullshit?
ow
Or how there even is a this time.
Before he can voice his concerns out loud, he's beaten to the punch, mouth hanging open just slightly as he tries to come up with a way to best explain their predicament. ]
Well, you see...
[ His eyes, red now from the crying, dart to the side. How is he supposed to make sense out of this?? ]
I've been here for the past five or so months. [ Keeping track of time is hard, especially since he's been spending so much time in his depression cave and all the days blur together. ] There's a war between two sects here.
deserved
[HELLO? Sooyoung's right here, trying to make sense of this with him. Dokja was here for five months? Dokja, who the universe apparently needed?]
How the hell does that add up... [if she sounds judgmental it's because she's trying her hardest to do the math.... time is a concept okay sure but she just had a dream about the world disappearing, and that was like -- a day ago?]
Also, I know that much.
[SHE'S SEEN THE WAR?]
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I don't know, [ he admits with a sigh, his hands finally dropping back down to his sides. ] You had that dream, didn't you? The one about our world being destroyed.
[ It still haunts him, even if he's forced himself to believe that it isn't true. Their world isn't something that can be done away with that easily... ]
Well, don't believe it. It was a ploy to send us deeper into despair.
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Dokja will sacrifice his life to save the world -- that's been confirmed numerous times. But Sooyoung? She'll break the world apart to save him.
but she she doesn't say this because it sounds unhinged and it isn't relevant to the subject, anyway. instead, she looks at him.]
...Is that what you really think?
[or is dokja, somehow, yet again, as he always does, on and on and on, thinking that he has some kind of responsibility over events that were never under his control?]
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