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TDM #3
TDM #3
DREAMING (new characters)
At first, there is nothing. You are nothing. Whatever existed before ceases to be if for a moment. Then, bit by bit, you start to become aware. Where there was not even darkness now is a dim haze, gentle and almost mist-like. You have limbs again and beneath your feet lays a path of light reaching out like limbs of a great tree beneath you, twisting and climbing out into the horizon.You take a step forward for what else is there to do? As you walk you begin to remember what it was you were doing before the nothingness; maybe something as simple as chatting with a loved one or close friend. Maybe you were just beginning a great journey or facing off against an old foe. Whatever it was, you get the distinct feeling that wherever and whenever that was, it is not here. Not now.
The path of light twists off into different directions. When you look up you can see that it is not a sky above you but the sky of everything, a grand cosmic tapestry littered with not mere stars but galaxies and clusters of galaxies that gleam like crystals against the velvety backdrop of space. Admire it for a moment, if you will. You don't know how long you will drift here, but you are not alone. Other wanderers will come and go as you bask together in the vastness of creation.
It seems to you that there are two paths to walk in this place, the light and dark beckoning in turn.
❖ THE LIGHT AT THE CENTER
One leads you to the center, splintered fragments folding together and colliding until only one thing remains: a light that speaks to you with the voice of all there is and has ever been. It greets you simultaneously as an old friend and as a lost child, both rejoicing in and mourning your arrival. You remember it too, somehow, with a feeling of complex nostalgia, as if returning to a place recalled from your distant childhood.
You’ll feel the same of the other wanderers that join you in the light; you know their faces, their voices, and as you reflect upon the world of your birth, you may witness fragments of theirs as well. You feel a comradery, then, a synchronicity of thought and emotion. Are the lives of others truly so different from your own? Or are you simply two hands of the same, greater being? Though some individualistic part of you may resist, the longer you spend in the light, the more you will find yourself becoming one with it.
Despite this welcoming call, no matter how eagerly your pursue its embrace, before you can fully submerge yourself in this oneness you will find yourself being torn away. As if seized by the impossibly long, cold arm of a creature unseen, you are plucked from the edge of fulfillment. The last thing you will remember is the sensation of your world, and all the others your experienced here, collapsing into nothingness.
❖ THE DARK OUTSIDE (CW: deep despair, ego death)
The other leads towards the outside, where the splintering becomes so great that the vestiges of reality can do nothing but collapse back into the abyss at the end of everything. As you wander to these barren outskirts, your thoughts will not be drawn to familiarity and oneness, but instead to memories of discontent and waste. The darker the path becomes, the more you find yourself dwelling on life’s disappointments and injustices, of the things about yourself and your world you find wanting.
If you see others here, at first they will feel frightening or contemptible, as if representing to you the worst experiences in your life. Even if they are someone you’re certain you know, that familiarity and affection will be stripped away in the face of the great emptiness before you. In the end, you were all the same. In the end, none of this was worth it. If you approach the end together, you may even form a kind of kinship around this acknowledgment, as the need for paranoia and hatred fades.
Slowly, the darkness encroaches, and you can see it devouring all the things you once knew. Memories of your home, of those you loved, dissolve into nothing, and you can only reflect on the barren emptiness in your heart as you see it happen. In your final moments, though, you feel peace with it all, knowing that there was no other way. You step from the edge of the last dwindling fragment of being and are greeted by silence.
❖ THE END
No matter which way you go, you are left with a single impression: you feel the world you came from die. It's a realization that transcends logic or sense; it weighs on your heart and leaves the vestiges of dark memories dancing in your thoughts like motes of ash. It's a memory of your home crumbling away into nothing as if consumed from within by rot. Returned to the void, all that's left to you is to be reborn.
REBIRTH (new characters)
In a new time and place, you awaken. Stirring within a capsule of warmth and isolation your senses will slowly return, only to observe that you are trapped. Your body, as it wakes, is tangled in close, yours eyes unable to open, as if still within the womb. You are held tight in the embrace of something unyielding, so smothering that at first you only have the strength to struggle for moments at a time. Yet, as you persist, the pressure begins to relent in turn; it may take hours, but eventually you will find the purchase to push, to claw, to fight, and it will all give way.The chrysalis surrounding you bends like flesh and cracks like glass. It tears as you force your fingers through, finding liberation one inch at a time, until finally you have emerged. As if having undergone metamorphosis, you feel old and new all at once. You are weak, piteously so, but the markings and scars of your previous life remain. As you slump down upon the smooth cavern stone, you realize that you've just wrenched yourself free of gigantic crystal, though its hollow, shimmering form is now in pieces on account of your passing. Somewhere on your body, a shard of similar material remains embedded.
The cave itself looks almost like the inside of a geode, the walls and ceiling bedazzled with greyish crystal that shines with all the colors of the rainbow. While they vary wildly in size and shape, only a few have grown large enough to hold a form like yours, and you can see the one you just escaped isn't the only one bearing a passenger within. They may have already hatched, or they may still be lingering in stasis. Either way, there's enough time that you may have a chance to speak to yours unexpected peers, or to perhaps to struggle to find something to cover your naked body with. You feel the chill of the open air against your moisture laden skin, a distant light trickling in through the cavern's opening.
Make the most of this time. It won't be long before you're interrupted.
[Mod Note: If you don't want to deal with your character being naked in front of the others at that location, feel free to assume they emerge at a different time than the others of their legacy. Characters will be 'hatching' over a period of several hours.]
DREAMING (OLD CHARACTERS)
For those already in Horos, they will find themselves in the same dreamscape as the new arrivals, only, this time, it's familiar. You'll feel more cognizant of your surroundings as you reawaken in this psychedelic realm, more in control of your emotions. What's more, you recognize that light at the center and the darkness at the edge: it's the Pleroma and Kenoma respectively. The one you are attuned to will call our to your soul, and though you are technically free to wander as you please, the closer you get to the force of your opposite sect, the more it will grate against you spiritually. Pleroma attuned nearing the Kenoma will feel as if its presence is desperately trying to tear them apart, and Kenoma attuned nearing the Pleroma will feel as if its light is burning them from the inside out.
More importantly, you notice that entirely new souls are wandering here with faces you didn't see in the cavern. It gradually becomes clear that they are Aions in the same state you were prior to your rebirth, lost and wandering this stretch of the cosmos with no idea what's to come. Maybe this is your chance to ease the confusion of their arrival, or maybe you'd simply like to scope out what kind of people are on their way. It's also possible for you to run into Aions already in Horos, wandering just like you are. Unfortunately, things are a lot less neutral than they are the last time you shared this realm.
No matter what you do, eventually the cosmos above will begin to burn out, just as it did the first time you were here. As darkness swallows reality itself, you will wake with the visceral memory of your world corrupting and breaking apart.
More importantly, you notice that entirely new souls are wandering here with faces you didn't see in the cavern. It gradually becomes clear that they are Aions in the same state you were prior to your rebirth, lost and wandering this stretch of the cosmos with no idea what's to come. Maybe this is your chance to ease the confusion of their arrival, or maybe you'd simply like to scope out what kind of people are on their way. It's also possible for you to run into Aions already in Horos, wandering just like you are. Unfortunately, things are a lot less neutral than they are the last time you shared this realm.
No matter what you do, eventually the cosmos above will begin to burn out, just as it did the first time you were here. As darkness swallows reality itself, you will wake with the visceral memory of your world corrupting and breaking apart.
SEARCHING (OLD CHARACTERS)
Soon after the dreams begin, it will become clear that the Aion NPCs of either sect are also aware of what's happening. For those in Achamoth and Greentruth, the imminent arrival of new Aions will become a matter of official discussion. All able Aions will be called upon for their aid, in whatever way they can offer. Getting to the shrines themselves will be easily accomplished via teleportation. What's would be more complicated is ferrying any new arrivals back to a secure location. Thankfully, this is something both sects have already prepared for. All characters will have the opportunity to acquire a 'returning stone' if they don't already have one. In all cases, this will amount to an amulet made of the same shimmering material as the shrine monuments, though the stylization differs between the Pleroma and the Kenoma. While regular Aion teleportation can bring you to any of the shrines you know the sigil and location of, a returning stone is magically programmed to bring its wearer back to a specific destination to which it is attuned. Normally, these stones will only be able to store enough energy for one 'return' a month, but it turns out that the ambient power created by the shrines being active will temporarily super charge them. Though it's not guaranteed, this means they may generate enough energy to perform multiple returns for TDM purposes. More information about returning stones can be found on the powers page.
Spare returning stones will be issued to all Aions so that they can be used to bring back anyone they collect, as it's possible to bring someone alongside you if they are also wearing a returning stone. Where your stone leads will depend on your sect.
❖ PLEROMA
Tehri will be the one to supply returning stones, based out of Greentruth. She will not travel to Godsblood to deliver returning stones to those that have not visited Greentruth, but it can be assumed that Greentruth's visitors can pass them along to anyone who has been staying in the city. The returning stones are set to bring them to a secure location beneath the water of Godsblood's coast. From there, new arrivals will have to be allowed to rest and then brought up into the city when they're ready.
Greentruth is limited in its resources, but it will attempt to send troops to the Innocent, Seeker, Wanderer, and Firebrand shrines, all of which are close to the forest. Compared to the last attempt, these troops are a bit better armored. Meanwhile, bolstered by recent events in Godsblood, bands of Resistance members and guerrilla fighters will turn up at the Artisan and Sovereign shrines. The Resistance members will work willingly alongside with the Pleroma Aions, but the guerrilla fighters seem to have their own priorities and that is mostly that they have a beef with the Achamites. These reinforcements will struggle against powered Aions, but they might be able to delay any troops sent by Achamoth or Hylici.
❖ KENOMA
Xishen will be handing out returning stones to all Kenoma the day after the dreams begin for the Aions that don't already have one. She'll explain how to use them, and state that the Regent expects for them to head to the shrines once they become fully active. The Kenoma will have whatever mundane weapons or supplies they need at their disposal for this mission, along with minimal Achamite reinforcements. Due to injuries and death in both Godsblood and Venera, many are in recovery or on their return to Achamoth. She'll reiterate not to rely too heavily on them; after all, only the Aions are able to quickly move between the shrines and at the Citadel. The regular troops will have to be deployed by river or by land, and mobilizing them will take time. They will feasible be able to reach all of the shrines to some degree or another, but will more easily populate the shrines of the Martyr, Celebrant, Lover, Champion, Visionary, Sovereign, and Firebrand.
The Hylicians will be called to fill in the ranks of the diminished Achamite troops. They follow the orders that they are given but are very standoffish otherwise, even more than usual for them. Xishen herself says she will be traveling to the shrines and the Kenoma will be expected to communicate their movements to her as they work. Dionys remains in Achamoth to 'keep watch'. All Kenoma Aions will be given a familiar vial of black sludge, and are instructed to feed it to any Aions they capture at the shrines. It will cause the same effects it did in the cavern, though it will resolve in a few days rather than a week.
RETURNED (ALL CHARACTERS)
New characters that are found a the shrines will be brought back to one of two lodestones, depending on which sect they are taken by. This will be accomplished by their escort putting a 'returning stone' around their neck that will enable them to be teleported to a secure area in their sect's territory. It is advised for your character to be taken by whichever sect you'd like them to end up in.
❖ TO THE PLEROMA
In a dazzling flash of psychedelic light, you will find yourself brought to the Pleroma's lodestone: a monolithic rock set in the center of temple-like ruins. The entire cavern is hidden away beneath the ocean waves, just outside of Godsblood, and the ceiling itself is comprised of nothing but a barrier of water, as if held back from filling the space by some unknown force. The waters surrounding the lodestone are exactly body temperature, with swarms of tiny, violently iridescent fish darting through it. Crabs that look as if they're made of pure, clear crystal wander the sparkling, sandy shores.
There isn't much here in the way of accommodations, but it's comfortable enough that the new arrivals brought in by the Pleroma can take a moment to catch their breath. Some relatively plain but assorted new clothing will have been brought to the cavern to make sure they are actually clothed, as well as blankets and basic food items. It's a good time to ask your questions, or if you are an established Pleroma, to help out your freshly arrived peers. After all, their welcome at the shrine may have been a confusing one.
New arrivals will be permitted to leave the lodestone's temple when they are ready. Unfortunately, the only ways out of these place are through your choice of either swimming through pockets of water that eventually lead to the surface, or by spelunking through a series of tunnels to make your way the cliff faces near the city of Godsblood. More information about the city itself can be found on the setting page, though it would be preferable to keep TDM interactions to the lodestone area. As characters emerging from the shrines will start our as Untouched (more info about attunements here) they will not be permitted entry into Greentruth until they have attuned to Pleroma.
❖ TO THE KENOMA
As your returning stone activates, you will feel yourself thrust into a suffocating void, only to emerge just as quickly somewhere else. The most pressing thing on the minds of anyone taken by the Kenoma will be the vial of pitch black sludge they are forced to drink, whether it is before or after their arrival. Maybe their 'escort' from the shrine gave it to them, or perhaps another Kenoma does soon after they arrive. If not, one of the Achamite cultists wandering around definitely will. Dedicated servants to the Regent's will as they are, they are not afraid to gang up on the vulnerable new arrivals and force it down their throats.
Once in your mouth, the potion will slither down your throat as if it's a living thing. The effect takes hold quickly: as this darkness creeps through your insides, it will embolden your darkest and most despair inducing emotions, plaguing your thoughts with the worst sorrows of your life. What's worst, it simultaneously seems to awaken some form of enhanced psychic empathy within you, both projecting your thoughts for others to hear, and allowing you to receive those of the others around you in kind. Black ooze will begin to seep from orifices, or the space around your shard. The effects of this contamination bring out your worst, and its recipients will be forced to live with these effects until they accept the force corrupting them into their souls.
This world is not good enough, a voice speaks to your through the Kenoma. This suffering you feel, the cruelty that has birthed this darkness in you... it is simply the rot that is consuming this existence. A better universe awaits, one forged by your own hand, and all you need do is first bring about this broken reality's end.
How long this goes on will depend on how long the characters is able to fight it. Acceptance of the Kenoma can come as quickly as immediately, if your character is inclined towards it, or it could be drawn out to take a few days. In the meantime, they will have to stay in the barren halls surrounding the Regent's lodestone, and will not be permitted to exit into the greater Citadel as the current Kenoma are. All that will immediately be offered to them down there are stone slabs that can be used as beds and formless white robes that reach down past their knees.
Of course, that doesn't mean the characters that are already of the Kenoma can't do something about that. If they desire it, they will be able to bring food or other supplies to those suffering with their Kenoma infections, and it will be equally within their power to try anything from bullying them into accepting to lovebombing them. Once a character accepts the Kenoma and attunes to it, they will be permitted to leave, but for the sake of the TDM interactions should be kept to the lodestone area.
❖ TO THE PLEROMAIn a dazzling flash of psychedelic light, you will find yourself brought to the Pleroma's lodestone: a monolithic rock set in the center of temple-like ruins. The entire cavern is hidden away beneath the ocean waves, just outside of Godsblood, and the ceiling itself is comprised of nothing but a barrier of water, as if held back from filling the space by some unknown force. The waters surrounding the lodestone are exactly body temperature, with swarms of tiny, violently iridescent fish darting through it. Crabs that look as if they're made of pure, clear crystal wander the sparkling, sandy shores.
There isn't much here in the way of accommodations, but it's comfortable enough that the new arrivals brought in by the Pleroma can take a moment to catch their breath. Some relatively plain but assorted new clothing will have been brought to the cavern to make sure they are actually clothed, as well as blankets and basic food items. It's a good time to ask your questions, or if you are an established Pleroma, to help out your freshly arrived peers. After all, their welcome at the shrine may have been a confusing one.
New arrivals will be permitted to leave the lodestone's temple when they are ready. Unfortunately, the only ways out of these place are through your choice of either swimming through pockets of water that eventually lead to the surface, or by spelunking through a series of tunnels to make your way the cliff faces near the city of Godsblood. More information about the city itself can be found on the setting page, though it would be preferable to keep TDM interactions to the lodestone area. As characters emerging from the shrines will start our as Untouched (more info about attunements here) they will not be permitted entry into Greentruth until they have attuned to Pleroma.
❖ TO THE KENOMAAs your returning stone activates, you will feel yourself thrust into a suffocating void, only to emerge just as quickly somewhere else. The most pressing thing on the minds of anyone taken by the Kenoma will be the vial of pitch black sludge they are forced to drink, whether it is before or after their arrival. Maybe their 'escort' from the shrine gave it to them, or perhaps another Kenoma does soon after they arrive. If not, one of the Achamite cultists wandering around definitely will. Dedicated servants to the Regent's will as they are, they are not afraid to gang up on the vulnerable new arrivals and force it down their throats.
Once in your mouth, the potion will slither down your throat as if it's a living thing. The effect takes hold quickly: as this darkness creeps through your insides, it will embolden your darkest and most despair inducing emotions, plaguing your thoughts with the worst sorrows of your life. What's worst, it simultaneously seems to awaken some form of enhanced psychic empathy within you, both projecting your thoughts for others to hear, and allowing you to receive those of the others around you in kind. Black ooze will begin to seep from orifices, or the space around your shard. The effects of this contamination bring out your worst, and its recipients will be forced to live with these effects until they accept the force corrupting them into their souls.
This world is not good enough, a voice speaks to your through the Kenoma. This suffering you feel, the cruelty that has birthed this darkness in you... it is simply the rot that is consuming this existence. A better universe awaits, one forged by your own hand, and all you need do is first bring about this broken reality's end.
How long this goes on will depend on how long the characters is able to fight it. Acceptance of the Kenoma can come as quickly as immediately, if your character is inclined towards it, or it could be drawn out to take a few days. In the meantime, they will have to stay in the barren halls surrounding the Regent's lodestone, and will not be permitted to exit into the greater Citadel as the current Kenoma are. All that will immediately be offered to them down there are stone slabs that can be used as beds and formless white robes that reach down past their knees.
Of course, that doesn't mean the characters that are already of the Kenoma can't do something about that. If they desire it, they will be able to bring food or other supplies to those suffering with their Kenoma infections, and it will be equally within their power to try anything from bullying them into accepting to lovebombing them. Once a character accepts the Kenoma and attunes to it, they will be permitted to leave, but for the sake of the TDM interactions should be kept to the lodestone area.
QUESTIONS
Is this TDM canon?
Mostly! It's part of an in-game event. However, only threads with new players that app and are accepted will be considered game canon. Threads between old characters will all be canon, but threads involving new characters that don't apply or aren't accepted will either need to be tweaked to remove their involvement or made non-canon. New characters will also be able to decide TDM threads aren't canon if they end up changing directions.
Who can toplevel on this post?
Anyone, whether they are a new character or a current one. However, we do ask for current players to do their best to tag new characters. If you are bringing in a new character and want a current character to bring them into your sect of choice, post your request here! ICly, current characters are fighting to claim new arrivals, but it's up to the player of new characters where they ultimately end up going.
When is this TDM taking place chronologically?
The beginning of August. The shrines will be active and forming Aions during that time. The dreams will start around the 29th of July. All current Aions will be able to sense when it's time for the new arrivals to start emerging.
What are the shrines like?
Every shrine is comprised of the crystal-filled cavern character emerge inside and then the massive statue symbolizing the relevant Legacy built on top. More information about each shrine can be found in the "Aion Shrine" section of the setting page.
Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
New characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their initial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
How does attunement to the Pleroma or Kenoma work for new characters?
More information about sect attunements can be read on their dedicated info page, but in summary: when new characters are brought to Horos, they will be in the state of being "Untouched" meaning they are not attuned to either sect. By the end of their first month in game it is expected they will either attune to Pleroma or Kenoma, though for those taken by the Kenoma's forces, the transition will be forced within the first few days. If taken in by the Pleroma, it may take then some time to attune to Pleroma, depending on the strength of their spirit, but it could also happen almost instantly if they are allowed to. How quickly it happens will depend on how strongly they align with the Pleroma's traits. Characters who have been taken by the Pleroma but that remain Untouched will not be allowed into Greentruth until their attunement to Pleroma is complete.
Can a character taken by one side end up attuning to the sect of the opposite one?
This is theoretically possible, yes: a person taken by the Kenoma could potentially resist the Kenoma's call, and someone taken by the Pleroma could end up falling to the Kenoma while staying with them. Generally, though, we recommend that you have your character be taken by whichever sect you want to end up in, as doing a switcheroo will cause narrative complications that might bog their introduction down in plotting that will need to be done with the mods. It can happen, but it is not to be done lightly!
Mostly! It's part of an in-game event. However, only threads with new players that app and are accepted will be considered game canon. Threads between old characters will all be canon, but threads involving new characters that don't apply or aren't accepted will either need to be tweaked to remove their involvement or made non-canon. New characters will also be able to decide TDM threads aren't canon if they end up changing directions.
Who can toplevel on this post?
Anyone, whether they are a new character or a current one. However, we do ask for current players to do their best to tag new characters. If you are bringing in a new character and want a current character to bring them into your sect of choice, post your request here! ICly, current characters are fighting to claim new arrivals, but it's up to the player of new characters where they ultimately end up going.
When is this TDM taking place chronologically?
The beginning of August. The shrines will be active and forming Aions during that time. The dreams will start around the 29th of July. All current Aions will be able to sense when it's time for the new arrivals to start emerging.
What are the shrines like?
Every shrine is comprised of the crystal-filled cavern character emerge inside and then the massive statue symbolizing the relevant Legacy built on top. More information about each shrine can be found in the "Aion Shrine" section of the setting page.
Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
New characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their initial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
How does attunement to the Pleroma or Kenoma work for new characters?
More information about sect attunements can be read on their dedicated info page, but in summary: when new characters are brought to Horos, they will be in the state of being "Untouched" meaning they are not attuned to either sect. By the end of their first month in game it is expected they will either attune to Pleroma or Kenoma, though for those taken by the Kenoma's forces, the transition will be forced within the first few days. If taken in by the Pleroma, it may take then some time to attune to Pleroma, depending on the strength of their spirit, but it could also happen almost instantly if they are allowed to. How quickly it happens will depend on how strongly they align with the Pleroma's traits. Characters who have been taken by the Pleroma but that remain Untouched will not be allowed into Greentruth until their attunement to Pleroma is complete.
Can a character taken by one side end up attuning to the sect of the opposite one?
This is theoretically possible, yes: a person taken by the Kenoma could potentially resist the Kenoma's call, and someone taken by the Pleroma could end up falling to the Kenoma while staying with them. Generally, though, we recommend that you have your character be taken by whichever sect you want to end up in, as doing a switcheroo will cause narrative complications that might bog their introduction down in plotting that will need to be done with the mods. It can happen, but it is not to be done lightly!
yuul im crying im so sad
She still can't read him. Losing him and wanting to save him hasn't fixed that, but -- she thinks... She thinks she can, maybe a little?
Is he sad? Or is he happy?
Then his hands go up to her shoulders, and the shock appears on his face -- this one far easier to read. The look of hesitance on her face too, as she turns her gaze down and mumbles, loud enough to hear.]
...He should be. I saw him in that dream... But he wasn't where I woke up. Ugh. He probably ran into the forest butt naked like the idiot he is.
[Does she feel responsible? She does. She'd been the one who told Yoo Joonghyuk to walk that path with her. Isn't she responsible for where it might have led him?
...She's worried, damn it. She found Dokja and lost Joonghyuk. She hates them both so much.]
just stop being sad?
He opens and closes his mouth uselessly, expression faraway before he snaps back to the present and fixes his gaze back on Sooyoung. ]
That's okay.
[ It comes out in a rush, one hand moving off her shoulder to instead rest above his sternum, where his shard lays. ]
We'll find him. And then...
[ He trails off. And then what? They'll go back to being how they used to be? What an impossible idea. Dokja's unforgivable, he knows that much, and he'd long accepted that he would never see them again, so why...? ]
pummels you
It's not as if she'd been expecting him to have the answers or a plan right now. He's clearly shaken, and Sooyoung suddenly realizes that she has no idea. She doesn't know anything about what Dokja's seen here or experienced, why he looks so ill -- almost worse than the 49% Dokja -- bangs longer than she remembers draping over his eyes,]
Of course we'll find him? Or he'll find us. Doesn't he always know where you are?
[scary bastard (affectionate). She rubs at her eyes some more with her sleeve, as if rubbing will somehow erase her previous tears,]
More importantly, Kim Dokja. You need to tell me what's going on. What the hell is up with this second-rate isekai fantasy bullshit?
ow
Or how there even is a this time.
Before he can voice his concerns out loud, he's beaten to the punch, mouth hanging open just slightly as he tries to come up with a way to best explain their predicament. ]
Well, you see...
[ His eyes, red now from the crying, dart to the side. How is he supposed to make sense out of this?? ]
I've been here for the past five or so months. [ Keeping track of time is hard, especially since he's been spending so much time in his depression cave and all the days blur together. ] There's a war between two sects here.
deserved
[HELLO? Sooyoung's right here, trying to make sense of this with him. Dokja was here for five months? Dokja, who the universe apparently needed?]
How the hell does that add up... [if she sounds judgmental it's because she's trying her hardest to do the math.... time is a concept okay sure but she just had a dream about the world disappearing, and that was like -- a day ago?]
Also, I know that much.
[SHE'S SEEN THE WAR?]
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I don't know, [ he admits with a sigh, his hands finally dropping back down to his sides. ] You had that dream, didn't you? The one about our world being destroyed.
[ It still haunts him, even if he's forced himself to believe that it isn't true. Their world isn't something that can be done away with that easily... ]
Well, don't believe it. It was a ploy to send us deeper into despair.
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Dokja will sacrifice his life to save the world -- that's been confirmed numerous times. But Sooyoung? She'll break the world apart to save him.
but she she doesn't say this because it sounds unhinged and it isn't relevant to the subject, anyway. instead, she looks at him.]
...Is that what you really think?
[or is dokja, somehow, yet again, as he always does, on and on and on, thinking that he has some kind of responsibility over events that were never under his control?]
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And yet, there's one thing he's refused to dwell on for the sake of the brittle strings left of his sanity. ]
It's what I have to think.
[ There's a finality in his tone. He won't be budged on this. Should he think differently, if the world with the people he loves most in it is truly gone, then he really will have nothing left. ]
I should have been at the shrines to bring you back, but I was [ dead ] occupied with something else. Ask me anything you need to know.
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[grumbling... stop blaming yourself!!!!! She hears that finality, and... does it comfort her? worry her? Both? She hates this. Dokja tells her to ask him anything, but she can already tell that he's keeping something from her.
If only she was Yoo Joonghyuk, then she could scare it out of him. Regardless, she takes his offer anyway.]
What's with the cloak and the mask? Are you on the run right now?
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But ah, this is a question he can answer, though he does look properly sheepish as she asks. It's fairly conspicuous, isn't it? Especially when no one else in Godsblood seems to be dressed in the same manner. ]
One of the Kenoma Aions outed me a couple of months ago as a fellow Kenoma Aion. [ GEN... ] And before you got here, the Kenoma made a mess of this city, so you can imagine people aren't taking kindly to me.
[ Also just being perceived in general? Having eyes on him at all times? It's not something he can deal with. ]
I was actually in the process of moving out when I stumbled into you.
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...Someone actually pulled that shit on you, and it worked? [Sooyoung just gives HIM a look like 'REALLY?' She'd actually think this is funny if she wasn't still overwhelmed by all these silly emotions.
As it is, she thinks it doesn't sound like Dokja at all, to let even the possibility of that happening. Dokja who plans everything meticulously.
...She can see that it's been bad times for him just by looking at his face, but how bad has it been really...?]
...What about the other Pleroma? Where the hell were they? Shouldn't one of them have backed you up?
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He may have been a meticulous planner but that was back when he had known his world to be that from Ways of Survival. When he'd had companions to protect, to want to reach the end with no matter the cost but not at the cost of their lives. How many sleepless nights had he pored over that story, looking for every finite detail, every decimal of a chance to reach the end of the scenarios?
And what did he have left here? Nothing but a broken shell of a man who had discovered his existence had caused countless amounts of destruction, pain, and lives lost. All for his sake.
Undeserved. ]
I didn't tell them. [ As simple as that. ] I didn't want them to know.
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She knows what she would have said if Dokja had chosen not to tell their companions, but who are the Pleroma if not just complete strangers? If she were in Dokja's place, then would she have relied on them?
(Maybe, maybe. Maybe she would tried to use them instead. She doesn't have the same capacity for love as Dokja does,)]
Hah. [she breathes out a long sigh. kim dokja, this guy...] Well, you can't do that anymore. If you pull that shit on me, then I'll kick your ass.
[and then dokja goes camping but whatever this is the PRESENT, she makes a 'come here' motion with her hands.]
Bend your head down a little.
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The disbelief is settling, but in turn, there's a growing fear as well. Joonghyuk had already disappeared once before, and he's not sure if he'd be able to deal with it a second time should it happen. Not with the two of them.
He's so lost in his thoughts that he nearly misses Sooyoung's demand. ]
What?
[ Bend down for what reason? Instead of listening, he does what he's best at and makes things a little difficult. ]
What are you planning?
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DID HE EVEN HEAR ANYTHING SHE SAID BEFORE SHE TOLD HIM TO BEND DOWN?]
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so she just grabs him by the chin and yanks him down, so she can idiot sandwich him between her hands and stare into his EYES,]
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Feel free to look into his very surprised eyes. He's too caught off-guard to do anything but stare back in confusion, eyebrows knitting together as he's forced down to meet her (small) height. ]
Han Sooyoung?
[ There's not really much to look at? Besides the dark circles under his eyes, the sickly pallor of his skin, and the murky depths of his gaze where the light doesn't seem to be able to reach. ]
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She thinks about all the words one can say that might never reach their intended receiver, even if spoken out loud. Even now. If she told him all she wanted to say, then would he believe her? Listen to her?
...Would that matter?
She's in front of him now, and she might never get this chance again. The world might end tomorrow. Dokja might disappear yet again, or she could be the one too vanish this time. To be left yet again, without a chance to tell him... No. She thinks of that feeling she had when she saw Dokja on the train, the grief when she'd reached for him at the subway station.
...I'm always one step too late. I'm sick of it.]
Kim Dokja. I don't like this place or its set-up. I don't like your lame disguise and I think your hair looks stupid. [thanks hsy] But -- I'm glad that I'm here.
["I want to meet that idiot one more time."]
I really wanted to talk to you again.
[the words trail off awkwardly, and she lets him go.]
...That's all. I just wanted to say that.
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His heart feels like a rock in his chest, and emotions he'd long thought himself incapable of feeling rise up to his throat. His red eyes, already burning from the tears earlier, go back to stinging. He had missed this. Most of all, he had missed her. It doesn't feel right or fair to speak his own sentiments, not after everything he'd put her through. Not after the life she had given him. He'll never know, now that he thinks about it, why she had gone to such lengths for someone like him.
Because he'll never find the courage to ask.
It had been so easy to think of all the things he wished he could say back when he'd been alone on that subway, those listless minutes ticking into long hours, then days. He'd lost track so easily and time had just molded into one meaningless concept.
And now, faced with the very person he owes everything to, he can't say any of what he'd wanted to say. ]
I'm...
[ ... not happy that you're here, he thinks as his voice trails off. She should be living with the others, she should be forgetting all of this. She shouldn't be here, in a war that isn't her own, in a life destined to be fraught with more pain and loss, the kinds that Dokja himself has grown more and more familiar with as every month passes by.
But... she is here. As much as he wants to tell himself that she doesn't belong here, a selfish part of him desperately latches on to the fact that this is real. That he has her with him now. It twists his stomach, makes his dry mouth wet with bile. After everything he's taken from her, how can he even think to feel this way? ]
... I'm sorry.
[ That's all he can say. ]
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But maybe it's better this way, that way he can avoid being pinched, because how else can Sooyoung show her worry and care in a way that she thinks he'll be fine with? She doesn't know. She doesn't have any lemon-flavored lollipops on hand to make jokes with, to pretend that everything at this moment is okay and will be.
She wipes at her face again with the edge of her sleeve, tries not to think about the way Dokja's apology pulls at her.
You don't owe anything to me. You don't have to be sorry. You just read a story you ended up loving.]
...Are we shooting a scene from a drama or something? [she says, instead] I really don't want to be rejected by you.
[if anything, SHE should be the one! she sniffs again, looks around with bleary eyes for the book she dropped to the ground]
Let's go. Don't show your face or I'll have to improvise, and it'll be really embarrassing for you.
[her words are, as always, harsh, but she carefully puts the book back in Dokja's hand, as if pushing any harder might break him.]
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So he nods stiffly, accepting the book with a restless energy as his other hand replaces the mask over his face and the hood over his head. ]
The place I've been staying at isn't far from here.
[ His voice is muffled once again behind the mask. He stalls for a moment, boots shuffling against the pavement of the alleyway, like he's afraid that if he moves from this spot then this will all reveal itself to be an illusion. That maybe his fragmented mind really is playing tricks on him in an effort to further break him down.
He's spent so long trying to keep some semblance of his sanity. He's not sure what'll happen should this, too, end up becoming nothing more than a hallucination of a mad man. ]
Han Sooyoung...
[ His voice is quiet as he extends the hand not holding the book so that his fingers can loosely grip her sleeve. ]
You'll follow me, right?
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It should be a surprise, but it tugs at her instead. Yet another sign of what Dokja must have gone through, to reach out to her like this.
she pulls away
so that she can grab his hand,]
There's no way I'm letting you out of my sight now.
[dere... with some tsun, since she immediately starts walking, tugging Dokja along with her. don't let her take the lead she doesn't even know where they're GOING!!! but she will very determinedly hold his hand,]
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But he doesn't pull away.
Hidden behind his mask, one corner of his mouth lifts ever so slightly at what she says. This is familiar. Almost to the point that it hurts, but he shoves aside the ache and pushes on, taking the lead from her. ]
You'll leave Godsblood, then? You only just got here.
[ There's plenty to see, lots to explore, and most of Dokja's closest Pleroma acquaintances reside here. He thinks he'd like Sooyoung to meet them, but with how quickly he plans on leaving, he's not sure if there's time for that. ]
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[Somewhat POINTEDLY, because she knows one person who just might, and she's here holding their hand. Maybe it's a little unfair of her to say and think so, but it doesn't change the fact that she knows her priorities. A.) Find Dokja. B.) Stay with Dokja. C.) No matter what. The city and all its wonders seem inconsequential in comparison.]
I can come back some other time.
[She pauses, moving in a little closer to avoid getting caught in the group of people ahead. Only once they're safely past them does she speak up again,]
Where exactly are we going again?
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As he continues on, he glances back over his shoulder at her question. ]
Greentruth. It's where the Pleroma rebels are stationed, but before that, I have a place I need to visit.
[ They make it to Dokja's place quickly enough, and he continues explaining as he unlocks the door to a nearly cleaned out room. ]
You can meet me there. I'll show you where the portal is.
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