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TDM #1
TDM #1
DREAMING
At first, there is nothing. You are nothing. Whatever existed before ceases to be if for a moment. Then, bit by bit, you start to become aware. Where there was not even darkness now is a dim haze, gentle and almost mist-like. You have limbs again and beneath your feet lays a path of light reaching out like limbs of a great tree beneath you, twisting and climbing out into the horizon.You take a step forward for what else is there to do? As you walk you begin to remember what it was you were doing before the nothingness; maybe something as simple as chatting with a loved one or close friend. Maybe you were just beginning a great journey or facing off against an old foe. Whatever it was, you get the distinct feeling that wherever and whenever that was, it is not here. Not now.
The path of light twists off into different directions. When you look up you can see that it is not a sky above you but the sky of everything, a grand cosmic tapestry littered with not mere stars but galaxies and clusters of galaxies that gleam like crystals against the velvety backdrop of space. Admire it for a moment, if you will. You don't know how long you will drift here, but you are not alone. Other wanderers will come and go as you bask together in the vastness of creation.
It seems to you that there are two paths to walk in this place, the light and dark beckoning in turn.
❖ THE LIGHT AT THE CENTER
One leads you to the center, splintered fragments folding together and colliding until only one thing remains: a light that speaks to you with the voice of all there is and has ever been. It greets you simultaneously as an old friend and as a lost child, both rejoicing in and mourning your arrival. You remember it too, somehow, with a feeling of complex nostalgia, as if returning to a place recalled from your distant childhood.
You’ll feel the same of the other wanderers that join you in the light; you know their faces, their voices, and as you reflect upon the world of your birth, you may witness fragments of theirs as well. You feel a comradery, then, a synchronicity of thought and emotion. Are the lives of others truly so different from your own? Or are you simply two hands of the same, greater being? Though some individualistic part of you may resist, the longer you spend in the light, the more you will find yourself becoming one with it.
Despite this welcoming call, no matter how eagerly your pursue its embrace, before you can fully submerge yourself in this oneness you will find yourself being torn away. As if seized by the impossibly long, cold arm of a creature unseen, you are plucked from the edge of fulfillment. The last thing you will remember is the sensation of your world, and all the others your experienced here, collapsing into nothingness.
❖ THE DARK OUTSIDE (CW: deep despair, ego death)
The other leads towards the outside, where the splintering becomes so great that the vestiges of reality can do nothing but collapse back into the abyss at the end of everything. As you wander to these barren outskirts, your thoughts will not be drawn to familiarity and oneness, but instead to memories of discontent and waste. The darker the path becomes, the more you find yourself dwelling on life’s disappointments and injustices, of the things about yourself and your world you find wanting.
If you see others here, at first they will feel frightening or contemptible, as if representing to you the worst experiences in your life. Even if they are someone you’re certain you know, that familiarity and affection will be stripped away in the face of the great emptiness before you. In the end, you were all the same. In the end, none of this was worth it. If you approach the end together, you may even form a kind of kinship around this acknowledgment, as the need for paranoia and hatred fades.
Slowly, the darkness encroaches, and you can see it devouring all the things you once knew. Memories of your home, of those you loved, dissolve into nothing, and you can only reflect on the barren emptiness in your heart as you see it happen. In your final moments, though, you feel peace with it all, knowing that there was no other way. You step from the edge of the last dwindling fragment of being and are greeted by silence.
❖ THE END
No matter which way you go, you are left with a single impression: you feel the world you came from die. It's a realization that transcends logic or sense; it weighs on your heart and leaves the vestiges of dark memories dancing in your thoughts like motes of ash. It's a memory of your home crumbling away into nothing as if consumed from within by rot. Returned to the void, all that's left to you is to be reborn.
REBIRTH
In a new time and place, you awaken. Stirring within a capsule of warmth and isolation your senses will slowly return, only to observe that you are trapped. Your body, as it wakes, is tangled in close, yours eyes unable to open, as if still within the womb. You are held tight in the embrace of something unyielding, so smothering that at first you only have the strength to struggle for moments at a time. Yet, as you persist, the pressure begins to relent in turn; it may take hours, but eventually you will find the purchase to push, to claw, to fight, and it will all give way.The chrysalis surrounding you bends like flesh and cracks like glass. It tears as you force your fingers through, finding liberation one inch at a time, until finally you have emerged. As if having undergone metamorphosis, you feel old and new all at once. You are weak, piteously so, but the markings and scars of your previous life remain. As you slump down upon the smooth cavern stone, you realize that you've just wrenched yourself free of gigantic crystal, though its hollow, shimmering form is now in pieces on account of your passing. Somewhere on your body, a shard of similar material remains embedded.
The cave itself looks almost like the inside of a geode, the walls and ceiling bedazzled with greyish crystal that shines with all the colors of the rainbow. While they vary wildly in size and shape, only a few have grown large enough to hold a form like yours, and you can see the one you just escaped isn't the only one bearing a passenger within. They may have already hatched, or they may still be lingering in stasis. Either way, there's enough time that you may have a chance to speak to yours unexpected peers, or to perhaps to struggle to find something to cover your naked body with. You feel the chill of the open air against your moisture laden skin, a distant light trickling in through the cavern's opening.
Make the most of this time. It won't be long before you're interrupted.
[Mod Note: If you don't want to deal with your character being naked in front of the others at that location, feel free to assume they emerge at a different time than the others of their legacy. Characters will be 'hatching' over a period of several hours.]
CAPTIVITY
It seems that someone was waiting for you to arrive, and not in the most friendly of ways. Though the specifics of who comes to get you will vary according to which legacy shrine your character awakens at, there are certain commonalities: most notably, how they are ostensibly here to capture and imprison you. It's easy for them, all considered. You can barely stand, so fresh out of your chrysalis, and whatever powers or special abilities you may have had will not answer your call. Even worse, your would be captors are well equipped for the job.
Each group arrives with several 'whips' made of unknown materials. What makes them so special only become obvious when one of them inevitable snakes its way around your body. Whether it be your ankle or your neck, being bound by these cords puts you under the influence of whoever is holding the other end of your leash. Your mind remains untouched, but you will find yourself physically incapable of performing physical actions that go against their will. While the possibilities are frightening, thankfully they all just seem to want one thing: for you to come along as a good little prisoner and to not cause any of them too much trouble.
The rest depends on your character's legacy:
❖ THE LOVER
The small island the shrine is built upon is approached by several modest boats with colorful sails. They carry what appears to be a collection of fearful fisherfolk and town guards. They are reluctant to speak with those being pulled out of the shrine or even look them in the eye. If they have their choice, the entire process will be done in silence. If you try too hard to upset them, the guards will sternly bring you to heel.
❖ THE CELEBRANT
The infrastructure of an entire festival ground seems to be built around this shrine, and as a result, there are an usual amount of people present. While most keep their distance, a few will engage with the local guards that arrive to capture the Aions, complaining that this is going to interfere with their preparations for the upcoming Lover’s Festival. They are pushed aside in short order, and the rest of the retrieval will be done in a stern but business-like manner.
❖ THE MARTYR
At first, those arriving to capture the Aions will be hesitant to even enter the barren crater this shrine is held within. Once the presence of the new arrivals becomes clear, however, they will run in as if crossing the no man’s land of a battlefield and complete their work with gusto. It appears to be mostly military folk and they seem to lack any patience or sympathy for those they capture.
❖ THE SOVEREIGN
The captors here seem to be a mixed bag, almost as if two separate squadrons have arrived at the same time. One is a gathering of people who give off the impression of mountain folk, while the others are well armored soldiers. Though it will be hard to make out the specifics, there seems to be some manner of disagreement between these two parties over what should be done, but the ones kitted out in full military attire win out in the end. By then, they are completely out of patience for further resistance.
❖ THE ARTISAN
The people here seem to have mixed feelings about your arrival. On one hand, it seems to be a moment of considerable trepidation, on the other, they seem unbearably curious about your nature. They will ask questions about any unusual features you have, or what your skills are, while others from the group try just as hard to shush them. Ultimately, they don’t seem that enthusiastic about having to capture you, but they also don’t seem to think they have much choice.
❖ THE INNOCENT
Among rolling hills of flowers, at first it seems as if this shrine may not be visited at all. Before the arriving Aions can escape it, though - naked and weakened as they are - a group of fairly normal looking townsfolk will arrive. They pause as they spot you near the shrine, almost like they are hesitating about coming at all. In the end, they will converge upon you and ask for you to please cooperate. They won’t hurt you, as long as you come with them.
❖ THE SEEKER
Armored soldiers are the ones to first pull you from the shrine, but as you arrive outside of it you'll see that it is situated at the edge of a great forest. An ancient observatory is build into the cliff face behind the shrine, and your captors are apparently in the process of negotiating with a series of robed individuals that have emerged from it. According to them, the soldiers kidnapping you are trespassing. Unfortunately, they are not the ones with weapons.
❖ THE WANDERER
When you first emerge from the shrine, it will appear as if you have just missed a skirmish. There are a few bodies scattered about, all wearing woodland armor made of leather and fur. The victors, it seems, come in the form of fully armored soldiers. Thoroughly irritated by the fight that just happened, they will not waste time on niceties. If you try to ask them what just happened, the best you may get is a sneer about ‘those damn forest people.’ You may spot a couple more bodies on the trail leading out of the forest as well.
❖ THE FIREBRAND
The first thing to be seen beyond the cavern entrance is a sheer drop into a raging canyon river far below you, with only a narrow path leading up the steep cliff face. It would be a difficult situation, even without black-cloaked warriors making their way down it to collect you. Struggle too much and you'll be at risk of being thrown into the chasm. These masked assailants are largely unmoved by your protests and will drag you the entire way up the cliff if you force them to. "Your soul will be claimed," they say.
❖ THE VISIONARY
The view from the mouth of the cavern is awe inspiring, revealing the foreign shapes of a world you've never seen before. Unfortunately, the altitude of this shrine means you will also be greeted with sharp wind and biting cold. Fortunately, or not, a party of mountaineers and three black-cloaked warriors will arrive to collect you. Despite their seeming inability to defy the orders of the warriors, the mountaineers will toss you some shoes and blankets for the trek down, even if they are taken away from you later. If the warriors speak at all, it's mostly in the form of ominous utterances.
❖ THE CHAMPION
Even if one were to stagger out of the shrine's cavern before being approached, the Aions arriving here will swiftly find themselves in a hopeless situation. Not only are there soldiers here to collect there is a moderately sized military barracks built around the shrine itself, and this particular squadron is not on your side. You will be swarmed before you can get far at all. There seems to be a mix of two squadrons here, some wearing heavy armor and red accents, while the others wear full face masks and dark cloaks.
Once you've been captured and pulled from the shrine, you will given a formless white gown made of moderately comfortable fabric, with sleeves reaching your elbows and its bottom reaching down past your knees. You will not be given pants or shoes. You're in for a journey, apparently - no matter who plucked you from the cave, most of the heavily armored soldiers in the prompts above will turn out to be 'Hylician soldiers', while the smaller number of black-robed warriors are referred to 'Achamites'. After the initial dealings with the shrines, all prisoners will be passed off to a squadron of Hylicians, though a few Achamites may follow along depending on the location.
Where are you all going? Back to Hylici, apparently.
Each group arrives with several 'whips' made of unknown materials. What makes them so special only become obvious when one of them inevitable snakes its way around your body. Whether it be your ankle or your neck, being bound by these cords puts you under the influence of whoever is holding the other end of your leash. Your mind remains untouched, but you will find yourself physically incapable of performing physical actions that go against their will. While the possibilities are frightening, thankfully they all just seem to want one thing: for you to come along as a good little prisoner and to not cause any of them too much trouble.
The rest depends on your character's legacy:
❖ THE LOVER
The small island the shrine is built upon is approached by several modest boats with colorful sails. They carry what appears to be a collection of fearful fisherfolk and town guards. They are reluctant to speak with those being pulled out of the shrine or even look them in the eye. If they have their choice, the entire process will be done in silence. If you try too hard to upset them, the guards will sternly bring you to heel.
❖ THE CELEBRANT
The infrastructure of an entire festival ground seems to be built around this shrine, and as a result, there are an usual amount of people present. While most keep their distance, a few will engage with the local guards that arrive to capture the Aions, complaining that this is going to interfere with their preparations for the upcoming Lover’s Festival. They are pushed aside in short order, and the rest of the retrieval will be done in a stern but business-like manner.
❖ THE MARTYR
At first, those arriving to capture the Aions will be hesitant to even enter the barren crater this shrine is held within. Once the presence of the new arrivals becomes clear, however, they will run in as if crossing the no man’s land of a battlefield and complete their work with gusto. It appears to be mostly military folk and they seem to lack any patience or sympathy for those they capture.
❖ THE SOVEREIGN
The captors here seem to be a mixed bag, almost as if two separate squadrons have arrived at the same time. One is a gathering of people who give off the impression of mountain folk, while the others are well armored soldiers. Though it will be hard to make out the specifics, there seems to be some manner of disagreement between these two parties over what should be done, but the ones kitted out in full military attire win out in the end. By then, they are completely out of patience for further resistance.
❖ THE ARTISAN
The people here seem to have mixed feelings about your arrival. On one hand, it seems to be a moment of considerable trepidation, on the other, they seem unbearably curious about your nature. They will ask questions about any unusual features you have, or what your skills are, while others from the group try just as hard to shush them. Ultimately, they don’t seem that enthusiastic about having to capture you, but they also don’t seem to think they have much choice.
❖ THE INNOCENT
Among rolling hills of flowers, at first it seems as if this shrine may not be visited at all. Before the arriving Aions can escape it, though - naked and weakened as they are - a group of fairly normal looking townsfolk will arrive. They pause as they spot you near the shrine, almost like they are hesitating about coming at all. In the end, they will converge upon you and ask for you to please cooperate. They won’t hurt you, as long as you come with them.
❖ THE SEEKER
Armored soldiers are the ones to first pull you from the shrine, but as you arrive outside of it you'll see that it is situated at the edge of a great forest. An ancient observatory is build into the cliff face behind the shrine, and your captors are apparently in the process of negotiating with a series of robed individuals that have emerged from it. According to them, the soldiers kidnapping you are trespassing. Unfortunately, they are not the ones with weapons.
❖ THE WANDERER
When you first emerge from the shrine, it will appear as if you have just missed a skirmish. There are a few bodies scattered about, all wearing woodland armor made of leather and fur. The victors, it seems, come in the form of fully armored soldiers. Thoroughly irritated by the fight that just happened, they will not waste time on niceties. If you try to ask them what just happened, the best you may get is a sneer about ‘those damn forest people.’ You may spot a couple more bodies on the trail leading out of the forest as well.
❖ THE FIREBRAND
The first thing to be seen beyond the cavern entrance is a sheer drop into a raging canyon river far below you, with only a narrow path leading up the steep cliff face. It would be a difficult situation, even without black-cloaked warriors making their way down it to collect you. Struggle too much and you'll be at risk of being thrown into the chasm. These masked assailants are largely unmoved by your protests and will drag you the entire way up the cliff if you force them to. "Your soul will be claimed," they say.
❖ THE VISIONARY
The view from the mouth of the cavern is awe inspiring, revealing the foreign shapes of a world you've never seen before. Unfortunately, the altitude of this shrine means you will also be greeted with sharp wind and biting cold. Fortunately, or not, a party of mountaineers and three black-cloaked warriors will arrive to collect you. Despite their seeming inability to defy the orders of the warriors, the mountaineers will toss you some shoes and blankets for the trek down, even if they are taken away from you later. If the warriors speak at all, it's mostly in the form of ominous utterances.
❖ THE CHAMPION
Even if one were to stagger out of the shrine's cavern before being approached, the Aions arriving here will swiftly find themselves in a hopeless situation. Not only are there soldiers here to collect there is a moderately sized military barracks built around the shrine itself, and this particular squadron is not on your side. You will be swarmed before you can get far at all. There seems to be a mix of two squadrons here, some wearing heavy armor and red accents, while the others wear full face masks and dark cloaks.
Once you've been captured and pulled from the shrine, you will given a formless white gown made of moderately comfortable fabric, with sleeves reaching your elbows and its bottom reaching down past your knees. You will not be given pants or shoes. You're in for a journey, apparently - no matter who plucked you from the cave, most of the heavily armored soldiers in the prompts above will turn out to be 'Hylician soldiers', while the smaller number of black-robed warriors are referred to 'Achamites'. After the initial dealings with the shrines, all prisoners will be passed off to a squadron of Hylicians, though a few Achamites may follow along depending on the location.
Where are you all going? Back to Hylici, apparently.
WAITING
After you've been handed off to the the Hylician military, you have a long road ahead of you. Loaded up onto carts, and then eventually onto river borne boats, the people collected at the shrines will all be brought to a forest in the center of Horos. Along the way, the squadron ferrying you will combine with others from neighboring shrines, more and more captives arriving in your group the closer to your destination you get. Along the way you will be fed and watered well enough (though only with military rations), and at night you will be given flimsy bedrolls to sleep around the fire with. Captives will be under constant watch by the Hylician guard, and anyone who shows any signs of resistance will be required to be bound by one of those magic whips, usually around the ankle or wrist. The rest of the trip is spent being pulled along in carts or the storage bays of boats. After the groups start converging, captives of the same legacy will not necessarily be kept together.
The final muster point of the Hylicians and their captives will be among forest ruins. For what purpose you have arrived they will not say, but the entire group will be camping there until preparations are complete. Sadly, you won't be allowed much space to explore - not without being bound and under watch. If you've behaved yourself it's possible to move about the central ruins, but only if the guards are confident they'll be able to wrangle you when necessary. It does allow for moderately private conversations along the pillars and walls of the ruins, but venturing out into the forest itself is definitely out of the question.
From beginning to end, characters will spent about two weeks in transit and waiting in the ruins. To what end is yet to be seen, but if you listen closely, you may hear whispers of a 'ritual space' being prepared.
QUESTIONS
Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
Characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their intial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
Can my character resist the influence of the whips?
Those possessed of particularly strong wills may be able to struggle with the whip's control in brief spurts, but not long enough to make a full escape attempt. They may be able to take an impotent swing at one of the guards or fight against being pulled along, though. Naturally, doing this will indicate to the Hylicians that you are a problem, and their handling of you will become harsher the more it occurs.
How cruel will the Hylicians be to the player characters?
The Hylician military are not friendly people and come across as being a bit callous even at the best of times. However, unless you provoke them, they will be primarily focused on just getting the job done with as few interruption as possible. If your character makes a habit of pissing them off, either by constantly fighting back or just by being persistently obnoxious, their treatment will get worse. If driven to it, they may take the opportunity to take out their frustrations on particularly troublesome prisoners, via physical punishment, humiliation, or deprivation.
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.
Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
Characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their intial sect affiliation.
Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.
Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.
Can my character resist the influence of the whips?
Those possessed of particularly strong wills may be able to struggle with the whip's control in brief spurts, but not long enough to make a full escape attempt. They may be able to take an impotent swing at one of the guards or fight against being pulled along, though. Naturally, doing this will indicate to the Hylicians that you are a problem, and their handling of you will become harsher the more it occurs.
How cruel will the Hylicians be to the player characters?
The Hylician military are not friendly people and come across as being a bit callous even at the best of times. However, unless you provoke them, they will be primarily focused on just getting the job done with as few interruption as possible. If your character makes a habit of pissing them off, either by constantly fighting back or just by being persistently obnoxious, their treatment will get worse. If driven to it, they may take the opportunity to take out their frustrations on particularly troublesome prisoners, via physical punishment, humiliation, or deprivation.
no subject
he's sitting here talking to a man from not only an entirely different walk of life, but from one of those infinite worlds he had touched upon in his surreal dreamscape. it's... amazing. ]
Ilus... [ he echoes the foreign name almost absently. not just a world discovered, but colonized-- the people of Amos's home had gone far beyond Abel's. ] What was it like? Was it already colonized when you made it there, Mr. Amos...? Ah, that's-- that's really awesome, you know that? You've not only lived in space, but... on colonies far and away from earth?!
[ ...ha. he'll let slide any further
idiocycommentary regarding personal hygiene in space-- it seems he's a dog with another bone, for now. (poor Amos, his life has suddenly become A Thing, hasn't it--) ]no subject
So, yeah. When he's in a place to actually understand that he had feelings in this moment, he'll recall them warmly. But in the present, all he can really do is go along with the questions, content to do so. ]
Yeah, it is kinda cool. I mean, at least until the alien planet has a reactor meltdown that results in a tsunami that destroys everything. Or the parasites that live there get in your eyes and start blinding you. But before that, I mean. It was pretty cool. [ No sarcasm — that shit did happen, but he made it out, and he isn't blind, so, whatever. No harm, no foul, ultimately. ] It was just starting to be colonized. Refugees claimed it. And then some company wanted it. And that turned into a whole thing, so my crew got sent out there to mediate or whatever. Real bare bones shit, but enough people there to start fighting with each other.
[ The politics of the whole thing are completely lost on him. He can speak to people getting into fights, though. He understands that much.
Actually — there's something else he wants to clarify. Pretty sure he knows the answer, but it's better to actually know. ]
You've really never been to space? Is that a thing where you're from at all?
1/2
but then there's mention of reactor meltdowns and a tsunami,
and eye parasites-- and Abel gives a soft, strangled, and very quiet exhale that leaves him as an: 'ah.' ah. yes. ]
Oh, good Lord... y-you've really been through the wringer, haven't you--? I guess space travel has always been romanticized in fiction and all that, but when you get down to the nitty gritties... u... ugh.
[ ..........gross?? horrifyingly so. mortifying. paralyzing. the 'Abel' sitting here would surely shrivel into a raisin, screeching long into the darkness of night at the prospect... ]
2/2
tucked deep down is the briefest memory of the sight of earth from above behind observational glass; of chokingly thick red dust of somewhere far and away; of sterile white halls buried beneath the planet's surface; of vibrantly red hair--
but the swell is buried right on where it belongs, and Abel's smile is unfaltering when he casts his gaze sidelong next-- complete with a well-meaning scoff. ]
Well, it would be quite the feat if I did, let me tell you-- that sort of technology has been lost for... um, well. A long, long time, Mr. Amos! I've read about it, though-- a time when men explored the stars, before the Dark Ages? I have to admit, I think I was better off with my feet planted on earth from the sound of it. --But, now I'm wondering... do you get to return home every now and then...? How long have you been out at space? Do you get to go back to earth and relax every now and then, or are you a man on a mission...?
no subject
But he'd taken to life in space like a fish to water, so the tradeoff was worth it.
Abel goes silent for a moment, and Amos watches him, waiting for whenever he's ready to speak again. He doesn't mind chatterbox mode, but turns out this is kinda nice, too.
The smile he's met with especially.
He cocks his head at the idea that the technology could be lost. So much of his society is dependent on it that it's unfathomable to think that one day that knowledge could just. Disappear. The idea has him mystified, only for him to scrunch his nose in something like distaste at the idea of going back to Earth. ]
Been living up there for something like 20 years now. Maybe more 'n that. [ And, he sobers. His eyes go soft as he regards Abel. His toes flex a little as he's all the more aware of the dirt beneath his feet. He doesn't hate it, it's just kinda. Well. An alien sensation. ] Never had a reason to go back to Earth. Never had much of a mission, either. Space was just a better place for me to be. And that's where my people were, so, wouldn't have wanted to go back anyway.
[ He looks back up at the brightest stars. No clue what the star chart here looks like. One way or another, space has always been a constant in his life, and now it's just... gone. Completely unattainable.
Which, apparently, Abel knows something about. So, back to him. ]
If we can ever burn those whips, I'm probably fine being planetside again. But. Damn. No rockets or anything — that's something I've never had any experience with. Gonna take some time to adjust to that.
[ Assuming they have a lot of time even left — but it's only a blip of a thought in his mind. Seriously, thanks, Abel. Almost feels like there's still a future for them here. ]
no subject
Between you and I, my friend? I'm quite hoping we don't have to get used to any of this. Were I to have any say in the matter, I'd like to see you back to your people, and the stars, and your space toothpaste in short order. --Preferably no worse for wear, while we're at it~!
[ perhaps it's idealistic and foolhardy, or perhaps he's merely saying all this to keep some spark of hope alive in someone who had a decided shortage of it. maybe Amos, too, had a dream while encased in crystal... of watching the world, the universe in which he belonged evaporate and dissolve before his eyes.
Abel refuses to accept such a reality. if he has his way, he will not permit Amos to, either - to say nothing of the thought that their time might be short-lived, here. that... that is a prospect he certainly won't even humor. he'll cradle hope in his chest, and Abel will do his absolute best to nurture it in his companion, too. ]
So do me a favor, would you...? Don't go getting yourself roughed up from here-on out, alright? [ slender fingers reach out, delicately, where that ugly bruise mottles Amos's brow in demonstration; the priest cannot help but softly wince at it. ] Next time you go and get yourself all banged up, I'm not above ugly crying. Tears, snot... the whole deal, I mean it, okay?
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There's no going back home for me. Everything there's dead. I felt it.
[ He stares into the fire for a moment while he says it, voice empty. There's an acceptance in the emptiness. He recalls the dream he had before waking up in a crystal, how natural it all felt. He's fine with it.
He looks back at Abel, and takes a moment longer before continuing. ]
'm not gonna fight them again. There's no point. They proved that already.
[ Blanket acceptance. This is his life now, same as it ever was. Except as he says it, he leans in to Abel's touch. Like a reminder that even with all of the shit life can throw at you, there are still good people. It's important to remember that. At the same time, he reaches out to put a hand on Abel's knee. It's a connection. A reminder that he maybe doesn't have to disassociate again.
And, with complete sincerity, ] You really don't gotta cry. I won't let it happen. Promise.
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there is a weariness behind the resignation -- however peaceful it might seem on its face -- in Amos's voice. the smile at Abel's lips slips, and the ache of a worry that had slowly been eclipsed is beginning to resurface in his eyes. while Abel certainly isn't a proponent of violence without purpose, and while he desperately and earnestly doesn't want to see this man hurt-- it would be a lie to suggest that seeing the hollowness in that acceptance of their fate, of the lack of will to fight, doesn't scare him. it isn't acceptance as much as it is defeat, is it? ]
...Please don't say that.
[ it's quiet; the words are not admonishing as much as they are plaintive. it isn't like Abel doesn't understand; to think back on the dream they'd seemingly shared... it makes a part of him writhe inside, churn in a most unpleasant way. but accepting that... ]
You're still here, aren't you? Even if we're to believe it's all gone... doesn't the fact that you and I are sitting here right now prove that something has been saved? [ it isn't gone.
it... it can't be.
but if Amos were to believe it is, then... ]
...Neither one of us can let them take any more than they already have. And fighting doesn't always mean using your fists, Amos, so... please try and hold on. If not for hope of home, then... to anything at all-- and I promise, I'll hope enough for both of us 'til you're ready to join me. Alright...?
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He's a little lost. He doesn't want to contradict Abel or make him feel bad or anything like that, but this is a disconnect he's just not gonna be able to bridge.
So, tentatively, Amos nods, even though he clearly doesn't understand. But he's upset Abel. Really, really doesn't like that. So he owes him this much. ]
I'll follow your lead.
[ That's as much as he can reasonably commit to. Hope isn't exactly in his vocabulary, isn't exactly something he can fake all that well. But he never says shit for the sake of it; Amos means it when he says that. He's made a life out of following other people's leads — it's just time for the next version of that, apparently. ]
Don't got anyone else here. So, yeah. I'll follow your lead 'til I can't anymore.
[ There's a limit to how much he can promise. Maybe they'll get separated for whatever reason. Maybe it really is all hopeless and there isn't a whole lot of forward to go from here. But until he's cut off, he can do this much, so he will. ]
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...ah. Amos...
despite the easy acquiescence and agreeability, there is a noticeable slump in Abel's shoulders as he realizes that this is not something any amount of verbal encouragement will disperse in his friend. whether a byproduct of this man's natural outlook or because of the crushing weight of that dream of a broken universe... the hope for anything more than this is dead. it breaks Abel's heart, makes him want to continue to plead with Amos to see otherwise, but-- sometimes, a man must know when to pick his battles.
even so... somehow, a slightly rueful smile tugs at his lips. ]
...Then, that's enough for me.
[ it's enough, even if it's like this. Abel was not lying: he will hope enough for both of them until Amos is able to rekindle the flame of hope himself. whether it's the result of blind idealism or a faith in a newfound friend, the priest believes it's entirely plausible. ]
Lord knows it's the blind leading the blind... almost tragic, isn't it? [ it's a rather transparent effort to grapple some levity back into the moment, to chase off the vestiges of something depressing and weighty, but... well. what can you do at times like these? "if you don't laugh, you'll cry," so the saying goes. obsessing over the morose certainly won't do either of them any favors. ] Maybe I'm getting the better end of this bargain...? Ah, I probably shouldn't say that last part out loud lest you realize you've been saddled with some fool who can't keep his mouth shut, and here you are some space wandering, eye-parasite-dodging, colony-peace-keeping man of action...
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He cocks his head at blind leading the blind, taking all of it in. Some part of him recognizes exactly what Abel is doing, but the motivation doesn't bother him. He really is good with whatever.
It keeps him in the real world a little longer. ]
You're not a fool.
[ However light Abel is trying to keep things, Amos does want to make that point clear. ]
Can probably see more than me, anyway. [ Wait. Shit. He gestures at his eyes for a second. ] Not literally. I'm fine. There wasn't any long-term damage. More like... I got a blind spot, you know? Right and wrong weren't exactly considerations where I grew up, so I've got trouble with them most of the time. Try not to, but when the damage is done, it's done. [ He shrugs. It's not something that bothers him right now, at least. ] You probably do have the better end of the bargain. But, hell, I can take it, so I'd rather you have it anyway. It's alright.
[ He pauses. ]
Thank you. World needs people like you.
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...
that levity really is something like a slippery eel, isn't it? Abel is trying so very hard to keep it in his hands, but it's writhing for dear life in an attempt to get free. the more Amos speaks, the more he lets slip -- the more something sinks in Abel's chest in response, to say nothing of how that last bit elicits a stab of an unconscionable guilt. there's no question his newfound friend hasn't had an easy go of it. but that he is so candid despite it, that despite accepting that everything he's known has returned to the terrible void of emptiness... Amos has let some light back into his eyes, that he still holds on to a kind hand and offers kindness in return...
well, suppose it tells Abel the sort of person he really is. ]
Things aren't always so black and white, are they? [ the subject of having a blind spot is one Abel might be able to sympathize with. he likes to think his moral compass steers him in the right direction these days thanks to the guidance of others, but-- in that way, maybe they aren't too unalike. they're just at different places on the same road, perhaps. ]
And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm, ah... very unfortunately near-sighted, so-- I'm not so sure my vision can be trusted, you know? My glasses are nowhere to be found, sad as it is to say... [ levity. levity. he won't permit it to slip away!! ] But, metaphorically speaking... maybe not seeing 'right' or 'wrong' isn't so bad a thing, as long as you have others around you who you can trust to help steer you.
[ Abel slightly shifts his posture and lightly tilts his head toward Amos; there's something quietly curious in his eyes. ]
There are times I've felt I was so right, and that my 'right' was the only 'right' there ever could be... only to come to a rude awakening later on. Have you ever been like that, Mr. Amos? Instead of having a blind spot, maybe it's like-- like having tunnel vision, instead?
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But he's trying. He doesn't have a moral compass of his own, so that's all he can really do.
Someone else who might understand that would be amazing, especially since there are so few people Amos understands to begin with. And they're dead now, anyway.
... A mild look of concern crosses his features first, though, as he looks away from Abel for a second, around the camp. ] Do they even have glasses here? [ Because that actually might be a problem, huh? If Amos has to end up literally helping him, in that sense— well, shit, he will, but some independency might be preferred.
But then it's right back to Abel. (With a newfound realization that he actually can see him perfectly fine, with his own natural eyesight. It isn't really something he's ever thought about before.) And... maybe a little hopeful. His friend gets it. Or at least part of it.
Although he's gotta shake his head first, the movement small. ]
I don't know what right is. It's probably more the opposite of tunnel vision. Like a wide open field, and I don't got any clue what direction I'm supposed to be going in. [ He folds his hands together, lets them hang limply between his legs. ] I do what you said before. I had my people I could trust, and they'd point me in the right direction. And then I'd know what I was doing was okay. Only, you know. They're all gone now.
[ There's a hollowness to his voice; he doesn't recognize the grief. But he's shrugging it off within seconds anyway, because it's either sink back into himself or talk to Abel, and he's gotten the sense Abel would probably prefer he not go catatonic again, so he won't. ]
I mean, you learn, yeah? And you do better the next time? [ There's that hope again — because in the present moment, he needs someone to guide him. And he likes Abel. So. It does seem kinda obvious to him. ] I'm not great at that either. But people who are; they usually got a good idea of what they're doing. That's who I try to go for.
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something has broken this man. taken away his sense of self, disconnected him from something internally. it's... concerning. no, beyond that-- it inspires a tug of empathy that niggles uncomfortably between his ribs, because the sort of events necessary to drive a person to that point are never, ever pretty.
and Amos being apart from the people he had come to rely on certainly isn't a good thing. separating a man from his bonds -- one who had made connections, reached out and found a moral compass in others, trusted despite being fractured inside -- rarely results in anything good. the grief that sits in those seemingly quiet words betrays as much, even if Amos himself might not be self-aware enough to recognize it.
Abel certainly does. ]
Learning from our mistakes is all part of the human experience, right? [ his try for a smile is a little less convincing than the last. ...it's simply hard; his heart aches for his friend, and God-- God, does he wish there was more he could do than offer some pitiable company through these long, dark hours. ] I have a feeling you're better at this whole thing than you let on... that you might be harder on yourself than you deserve. Making mistakes is also part of the human experience, you know? And sometimes... sometimes we're in a place where it's all we can do to keep going, leaning on someone else. If that's where you're at, it's alright. It doesn't mean you don't have that little voice in you that knows right from wrong, Mr. Amos. I just think... maybe your life hasn't been the kindest to you, and it's been drowned out a bit. But... even just in this time we've whittled away, I can tell you're too kind for it to truly be gone for good.