aionooc | TDM #2

Entry tags:

test drive meme

TDM #2

DREAMING (new characters)

At first, there is nothing. You are nothing. Whatever existed before ceases to be if for a moment. Then, bit by bit, you start to become aware. Where there was not even darkness now is a dim haze, gentle and almost mist-like. You have limbs again and beneath your feet lays a path of light reaching out like limbs of a great tree beneath you, twisting and climbing out into the horizon.

You take a step forward for what else is there to do? As you walk you begin to remember what it was you were doing before the nothingness; maybe something as simple as chatting with a loved one or close friend. Maybe you were just beginning a great journey or facing off against an old foe. Whatever it was, you get the distinct feeling that wherever and whenever that was, it is not here. Not now.

The path of light twists off into different directions. When you look up you can see that it is not a sky above you but the sky of everything, a grand cosmic tapestry littered with not mere stars but galaxies and clusters of galaxies that gleam like crystals against the velvety backdrop of space. Admire it for a moment, if you will. You don't know how long you will drift here, but you are not alone. Other wanderers will come and go as you bask together in the vastness of creation.

It seems to you that there are two paths to walk in this place, the light and dark beckoning in turn.

❖ THE LIGHT AT THE CENTER
One leads you to the center, splintered fragments folding together and colliding until only one thing remains: a light that speaks to you with the voice of all there is and has ever been. It greets you simultaneously as an old friend and as a lost child, both rejoicing in and mourning your arrival. You remember it too, somehow, with a feeling of complex nostalgia, as if returning to a place recalled from your distant childhood.

You’ll feel the same of the other wanderers that join you in the light; you know their faces, their voices, and as you reflect upon the world of your birth, you may witness fragments of theirs as well. You feel a comradery, then, a synchronicity of thought and emotion. Are the lives of others truly so different from your own? Or are you simply two hands of the same, greater being? Though some individualistic part of you may resist, the longer you spend in the light, the more you will find yourself becoming one with it.

Despite this welcoming call, no matter how eagerly your pursue its embrace, before you can fully submerge yourself in this oneness you will find yourself being torn away. As if seized by the impossibly long, cold arm of a creature unseen, you are plucked from the edge of fulfillment. The last thing you will remember is the sensation of your world, and all the others your experienced here, collapsing into nothingness.

❖ THE DARK OUTSIDE (CW: deep despair, ego death)
The other leads towards the outside, where the splintering becomes so great that the vestiges of reality can do nothing but collapse back into the abyss at the end of everything. As you wander to these barren outskirts, your thoughts will not be drawn to familiarity and oneness, but instead to memories of discontent and waste. The darker the path becomes, the more you find yourself dwelling on life’s disappointments and injustices, of the things about yourself and your world you find wanting.

If you see others here, at first they will feel frightening or contemptible, as if representing to you the worst experiences in your life. Even if they are someone you’re certain you know, that familiarity and affection will be stripped away in the face of the great emptiness before you. In the end, you were all the same. In the end, none of this was worth it. If you approach the end together, you may even form a kind of kinship around this acknowledgment, as the need for paranoia and hatred fades.

Slowly, the darkness encroaches, and you can see it devouring all the things you once knew. Memories of your home, of those you loved, dissolve into nothing, and you can only reflect on the barren emptiness in your heart as you see it happen. In your final moments, though, you feel peace with it all, knowing that there was no other way. You step from the edge of the last dwindling fragment of being and are greeted by silence.

❖ THE END
No matter which way you go, you are left with a single impression: you feel the world you came from die. It's a realization that transcends logic or sense; it weighs on your heart and leaves the vestiges of dark memories dancing in your thoughts like motes of ash. It's a memory of your home crumbling away into nothing as if consumed from within by rot. Returned to the void, all that's left to you is to be reborn.

REBIRTH (new characters)

In a new time and place, you awaken. Stirring within a capsule of warmth and isolation your senses will slowly return, only to observe that you are trapped. Your body, as it wakes, is tangled in close, yours eyes unable to open, as if still within the womb. You are held tight in the embrace of something unyielding, so smothering that at first you only have the strength to struggle for moments at a time. Yet, as you persist, the pressure begins to relent in turn; it may take hours, but eventually you will find the purchase to push, to claw, to fight, and it will all give way.

The chrysalis surrounding you bends like flesh and cracks like glass. It tears as you force your fingers through, finding liberation one inch at a time, until finally you have emerged. As if having undergone metamorphosis, you feel old and new all at once. You are weak, piteously so, but the markings and scars of your previous life remain. As you slump down upon the smooth cavern stone, you realize that you've just wrenched yourself free of gigantic crystal, though its hollow, shimmering form is now in pieces on account of your passing. Somewhere on your body, a shard of similar material remains embedded.

The cave itself looks almost like the inside of a geode, the walls and ceiling bedazzled with greyish crystal that shines with all the colors of the rainbow. While they vary wildly in size and shape, only a few have grown large enough to hold a form like yours, and you can see the one you just escaped isn't the only one bearing a passenger within. They may have already hatched, or they may still be lingering in stasis. Either way, there's enough time that you may have a chance to speak to yours unexpected peers, or to perhaps to struggle to find something to cover your naked body with. You feel the chill of the open air against your moisture laden skin, a distant light trickling in through the cavern's opening.

Make the most of this time. It won't be long before you're interrupted.

[Mod Note: If you don't want to deal with your character being naked in front of the others at that location, feel free to assume they emerge at a different time than the others of their legacy. Characters will be 'hatching' over a period of several hours.]

DREAMING (OLD CHARACTERS)

For those already in Horos, they will find themselves in the same dreamscape as the new arrivals, only, this time, it's familiar. You'll feel more cognizant of your surroundings as you reawaken in this psychedelic realm, more in control of your emotions. What's more, you recognize that light at the center and the darkness at the edge: it's the Pleroma and Kenoma respectively. The one you are attuned to will call our to your soul, and though you are technically free to wander as you please, the closer you get to the force of your opposite sect, the more it will grate against you spiritually. Pleroma attuned nearing the Kenoma will feel as if its presence is desperately trying to tear them apart, and Kenoma attuned nearing the Pleroma will feel as if its light is burning them from the inside out.

More importantly, you notice that entirely new souls are wandering here with faces you didn't see in the cavern. It gradually becomes clear that they are Aions in the same state you were prior to your rebirth, lost and wandering this stretch of the cosmos with no idea what's to come. Maybe this is your chance to ease the confusion of their arrival, or maybe you'd simply like to scope out what kind of people are on their way. It's also possible for you to run into Aions already in Horos, wandering just like you are. Unfortunately, things are a lot less neutral than they are the last time you shared this realm.

No matter what you do, eventually the cosmos above will begin to burn out, just as it did the first time you were here. As darkness swallows reality itself, you will wake with the visceral memory of your world corrupting and breaking apart.

SEARCHING (OLD CHARACTERS)

Soon after the dreams begin, it will become clear that the Aion NPCs of either sect are also aware of what's happening. For those in Achamoth and Greentruth, the imminent arrival of new Aions will become a matter of official discussion. All able Aions will be called upon for their aid, in whatever way they can offer. Getting to the shrines themselves will be easily accomplished via teleportation. What's would be more complicated is ferrying any new arrivals back to a secure location. Thankfully, it seems this is something both sects have already prepared for.

All characters will have the opportunity to acquire a 'returning stone'. In all cases, this will amount to an amulet made of the same shimmering material as the shrine monuments, though the stylization differs between the Pleroma and the Kenoma. While regular Aion teleportation can bring you to any of the shrines you know the sigil and location of, a returning stone is magically programmed to bring its wearer back to a specific destination to which it is attuned. Normally, these stones will only be able to store enough energy for one 'return' a month, but it turns out that the ambient power created by the shrines being active will temporarily super charge them. Though it's not guaranteed, this means they may generate enough energy to perform multiple returns for TDM purposes.

Spare returning stones will be issued to all Aions so that they can be used to bring back anyone they collect, as it's possible to bring someone alongside you if they are also wearing a returning stone. Where your stone leads will depend on your sect.

❖ PLEROMA
Tehri will be the one to supply returning stones, based out of Greentruth. She will not travel to Godsblood to deliver returning stones to those that have not visited Greentruth, but it can be assumed that Greentruth's visitors can pass them along to anyone who has been staying in the city. The returning stones are apparently set to bring them to a secure location beneath the water of Godsblood's coast. From there, new arrivals will have to be allowed to rest and then brought up into the city when they're ready.

Greentruth is limited in its resources, but it will attempt to send troops to the Innocent, Seeker, Wanderer, and Firebrand shrines, all of which are close to the forest. Meanwhile, while no formal affiliation with the new Aions has been made, bands of guerilla fighters, most likely from Godsblood, will turn up at the Artisan and Sovereign shrines. Whether they have any affiliation with Greentruth will not be clear, but they do seem to have a beef against the Achamites. These reinforcements will struggle against powered Aions, but they might be able to delay any troops sent by Achamoth.

❖ KENOMA
Xishen will be handing out returning stones to all Kenoma the day after the dreams begin. She'll explain how to use them, and state that the Regent expects for them to head to the shrines once they become fully active. The Kenoma will have whatever mundane weapons or supplies they need at their disposal for this mission, along with some modest Achamite reinforcements. She'll warn not to rely too heavily on them however; after all, only the Aions are able to quickly move between the shrines and at the Citadel. The Achamites will have to be deployed by river or by land, and mobilizing them will take time. They will feasible be able to reach all of the shrines to some degree or another, but will more easily populate the shrines of the Martyr, Celebrant, Lover, Champion, Visionary, Sovereign, and Firebrand.

The Hylicians will apparently not be helping this time around, as the capture and holding of the first batch of Aions was already a lengthy venture. Xishen herself says she will be travelling to the shrines, however, while another Aion named Dionys remains in Achamoth to 'keep watch'. All Kenoma Aions will be given a familiar vial of black sludge, and are instructed to feed it to any Aions they capture at the shrines. It will cause the same effects it did in the cavern, though it will resolve in a few days rather than a week.

RETURNED (ALL CHARACTERS)

New characters that are found a the shrines will be brought back to one of two lodestones, depending on which sect they are taken by. This will be accomplished by their escort putting a 'returning stone' around their neck that will enable them to be teleported to a secure area in their sect's territory. It is advised for your character to be taken by whichever sect you'd like them to end up in.

❖ TO THE PLEROMA
In a dazzling flash of psychedelic light, you will find yourself brought to the Pleroma's lodestone: a monolithic rock set in the center of temple-like ruins. The entire cavern is hidden away beneath the ocean waves, just outside of Godsblood, and the ceiling itself is comprised of nothing but a barrier of water, as if held back from filling the space by some unknown force. The waters surrounding the lodestone are exactly body temperature, with swarms of tiny, violently iridescent fish darting through it. Crabs that look as if they're made of pure, clear crystal wander the sparkling, sandy shores.

There isn't much here in the way of accommodations, but it's comfortable enough that the new arrivals brought in by the Pleroma can take a moment to catch their breath. Some relatively plain but assorted new clothing will have been brought to the cavern to make sure they are actually clothed, as well as blankets and basic food items. It's a good time to ask your questions, or if you are an established Pleroma, to help out your freshly arrived peers. After all, their welcome at the shrine may have been a confusing one.

New arrivals will be permitted to leave the lodestone's temple when they are ready. Unfortunately, the only ways out of these place are through your choice of either swimming through pockets of water that eventually lead to the surface, or by spelunking through a series of tunnels to make your way the cliff faces near the city of Godsblood. More information about the city itself can be found on the setting page, though it would be preferable to keep TDM interactions to the lodestone area. As characters emerging from the shrines will start our as Untouched (more info about attunements here) they will not be permitted entry into Greentruth until they have attuned to Pleroma.

❖ TO THE KENOMA
As your returning stone activates, you will feel yourself thrust into a suffocating void, only to emerge just as quickly somewhere else. The most pressing thing on the minds of anyone taken by the Kenoma will be the vial of pitch black sludge they are forced to drink, whether it is before or after their arrival. Maybe their 'escort' from the shrine gave it to them, or perhaps another Kenoma does soon after they arrive. If not, one of the Achamite cultists wandering around definitely will. Dedicated servants to the Regent's will as they are, they are not afraid to gang up on the vulnerable new arrivals and force it down their throats.

Once in your mouth, the potion will slither down your throat as if it's a living thing. The effect takes hold quickly: as this darkness creeps through your insides, it will embolden your darkest and most despair inducing emotions, plaguing your thoughts with the worst sorrows of your life. What's worst, it simultaneously seems to awaken some form of enhanced psychic empathy within you, both projecting your thoughts for others to hear, and allowing you to receive those of the others around you in kind. Black ooze will begin to seep from orifices, or the space around your shard. The effects of this contamination bring out your worst, and its recipients will be forced to live with these effects until they accept the force corrupting them into their souls.

This world is not good enough, a voice speaks to your through the Kenoma. This suffering you feel, the cruelty that has birthed this darkness in you... it is simply the rot that is consuming this existence. A better universe awaits, one forged by your own hand, and all you need do is first bring about this broken reality's end.

How long this goes on will depend on how long the characters is able to fight it. Acceptance of the Kenoma can come as quickly as immediately, if your character is inclined towards it, or it could be drawn out to take a few days. In the meantime, they will have to stay in the barren halls surrounding the Regent's lodestone, and will not be permitted to exit into the greater Citadel as the current Kenoma are. All that will immediately be offered to them down there are stone slabs that can be used as beds and formless white robes that reach down past their knees.

Of course, that doesn't mean the characters that are already of the Kenoma can't do something about that. If they desire it, they will be able to bring food or other supplies to those suffering with their Kenoma infections, and it will be equally within their power to try anything from bullying them into accepting to lovebombing them. Once a character accepts the Kenoma and attunes to it, they will be permitted to leave, but for the sake of the TDM interactions should be kept to the lodestone area.

QUESTIONS

Is this TDM canon?
Mostly! It's part of an in-game event. However, only threads with new players that app and are accepted will be considered game canon. Threads between old characters will all be canon, but threads involving new characters that don't apply or aren't accepted will either need to be tweaked to remove their involvement or made non-canon. New characters will also be able to decide TDM threads aren't canon if they end up changing directions.

Who can toplevel on this post?
Anyone, whether they are a new character or a current one. However, we do ask for current players to do their best to tag new characters. If you are bringing in a new character and want a current character to bring them into your sect of choice, post your request here! ICly, current characters are fighting to claim new arrivals, but it's up to the player of new characters where they ultimately end up going.

When is this TDM taking place chronologically?
The last few days of April. The shrines will be active and forming Aions during that time. The dreams will start around the 24th. All current Aions will be able to sense when it's time for the new arrivals to start emerging.

What are the shrines like?
Every shrine is comprised of the crystal-filled cavern character emerge inside and then the massive statue symbolizing the relevant Legacy built on top. More information about each shrine can be found in the "Aion Shrine" section of the setting page.

Are everyone's homeworlds really gone?
That's a complicated issue, and while the fate of their world is not without hope, they may certainly get the impression its been destroyed from the dream they had. Alternatively, they may refuse to believe what they felt and attempt to dismiss it as only a vision. More about this situation will be revealed as the game goes on.

Can I only experience one end of the dream sequence prompt?
New characters may experience one ending, both endings, or neither. If they experience both they will struggle to recall which came first or which feels the most 'true' to them, as both will simultaneously be the thought they are reborn with. If your character refuses to pursue either path they can simply linger in the middle until the infinite worlds above them start being extinguished one by one, eventually expelling them into darkness in a similar style to the light prompt. Which dreams they experience will not dictate their initial sect affiliation.

Is it possible to pull another character back from the end of the light or darkness dreams?
Yes! If your character is able to resist the pull of either end, they will have the chance to try to pull another character back from the edge of the abyss or the edge of oneness. Whether or not they succeed is entirely up to the other character, though.

Do you come out of the chrysalis wet?
For most intents and purposes it's the same experience as hatching out of a real butterfly chrysalis, so yes, a bit.

How does attunement to the Pleroma or Kenoma work for new characters?
More information about sect attunements can be read on their dedicated info page, but in summary: when new characters are brought to Horos, they will be in the state of being "Untouched" meaning they are not attuned to either sect. By the end of their first month in game it is expected they will either attune to Pleroma or Kenoma, though for those taken by the Kenoma's forces, the transition will be forced within the first few days. If taken in by the Pleroma, it may take then some time to attune to Pleroma, depending on the strength of their spirit, but it could also happen almost instantly if they are allowed to. How quickly it happens will depend on how strongly they align with the Pleroma's traits. Characters who have been taken by the Pleroma but that remain Untouched will not be allowed into Greentruth until their attunement to Pleroma is complete.

Can a character taken by one side end up attuning to the sect of the opposite one?
This is theoretically possible, yes: a person taken by the Kenoma could potentially resist the Kenoma's call, and someone taken by the Pleroma could end up falling to the Kenoma while staying with them. Generally, though, we recommend that you have your character be taken by whichever sect you want to end up in, as doing a switcheroo will cause narrative complications that might bog their introduction down in plotting that will need to be done with the mods. It can happen, but it is not to be done lightly!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Last shrine of the day, mostly because he's very quickly running out of steam with all this teleportation work between shrines. Both his mind and body are at their limits, and why he's working so hard, he doesn't know. Still, it's been a good exercise to familiarize himself with the locations he's visited, and the shrine of the Lover is situated in such a scenic area that it's hard not to immediately compare it to the desolate shambles of Dokja's own. So even places like this exist in Horos, his mind helpfully supplying the information he'd read about the Lover legacy as he stares at the open water in front of him.

Well, first thing's first, he needs to find the cave opening to this particular shrine. He peels his gaze away from the lake's shimmering surface, his boots crunching against the sand as he heads toward what he thinks is the spot.

And it is. He pauses for a moment at the mouth of the cave, hesitant for no real reason other than having to go through this yet again, and then he heads inside. Who will he find this time? Hopefully someone who doesn't ask too many questions and just wants to get out of there just as much as he does...

—Ah. ]

Oh, shit.

[ He'd been gazing quietly at the few cocoons that are still intact, lost in thought for once. Trying to remember the dreams and sensations from before he'd woken up from one of those things himself -- the feeling of his memories, his thoughts, his visions of his hometown melting into nothing. Things he's not sure he really wants to recall, but feels like he should, anyway. Maybe. Maybe not. He's not even sure any more.

So maybe he's grateful for the distraction when he hears the sound of footsteps followed by the slightly echo-y mutter of a vaguely familiar voice. ]

-- you.

[ He'd only glanced over his shoulder at first, but he's quick to turn on heel and face Dokja the moment he recognizes that shitty, insufferable face.

But perhaps surprisingly, this time he doesn't immediately lunge in for an attack. Though his hand does automatically fall to the handle of the mace he has hanging from his belt, his stance is guarded rather than aggressive even as he pitches his balance forward on his feet, as if prepared to close the distance between then. ]

The fuck're you here for. Stalking me?

[ Probably not. But saying shit to provoke ire is just second nature to him, honestly. ]

[ Stalk... stalking him? Does Dokja look like a person who has that kind of hobby???

This is a surprise, but it really shouldn't be considering what everyone's out here to do. What's more of a surprise is that there's no immediate attack? He'd been braced for one after their previous encounters, so this is an interesting change of pace, though Dokja's eyes do glance down at the weapon on Gen's belt.

Huh, wonder if he learned how to use that. ]

Hey, kid.

[ He grins, his own posture relaxed as he remains by the mouth of the cave. An unbothered king. ]

How are you? Have you been eating all your meals? I see you're still as disgustingly tall as ever.

[ Wow Dokja you can't specifically hunt down a teenager to punch in the face and then get offended when said teenager thinks you're a weirdo creep???

Which, honestly, just makes it all the more maddening that Gen knows he's severely outclassed. Despite the few new tools he's added to his arsenal since their last encounter, he knows lunging in for a blow as he is would only be asking for a repeat performance of their last 'match.' And while all bets are off if he gets pissed off enough ... at least for now, while he's calm enough to think rationally, he decides to refrain. ]

Were you hoping I'd shrink down to your level?

[ And since Dokja didn't deny actually deny being a stalker: ]

So what d'you want, if you're following me like this? Since you said nothing's personal. [ Gen spits out that last word acrid and sharp. Clearly that point's been grating at him this whole time -- the fact that Dokja had had the gall to say nothing between them is personal. ] Just looking for another punch?

[ Look at them! Having an actual conversation(?) with each other and zero fists flying. Dokja certainly looks like he's having a casual chat with an acquaintance, moving to cross his arms over his chest as he leans against the cave wall. He'll get settled and comfortable for this, then. ]

That would've been nice, [ he says, voice a bit wistful as if imagining it.

Short jokes aside, it would be entirely untrue if Gen thought he was actually following him around. Like, yeah, Dokja's an obsessive person at heart, but in this case? They'd gone their separate ways and that had been enough for him, and while his mind had occasionally wandered to the boy, his thoughts would always remain brief.

But... maybe it's not so bad to feed into a tiny pinch of suspicion. ]

What, are you still hung up on that? We're even now, remember?

Not for me. [ Too bad for Dokja, Gen doesn't dwell on that provocation at the moment, deadpanning a hard response almost before Dokja's finished speaking that last word. ] For you.

[ And with that he draws a half-step closer. His hand never strays from the handle of his weapons, but it's clearly more a preacaution than a warning; having accepted that throwing hands isn't the best way to go about things at this moment, he's instead looking to depend on words, for once.

Which might not be so bad this time. He has something that comes to mind, after all.

His gaze remains fixed sharp on Dokja's face as he continues, keeping his words deliberately slow and flat. ]

People on this side were talking about you, y'know. Had no idea you were going around asking so many people to beat on you. You get your kicks from that kinda shit? S'that all this is? Trying to get your rocks off?

[ Now that pulls a reaction out of Dokja, and his eyes shake just slightly while the smile on his face grows strained. He doesn't budge from where he stands even when Gen draws closer, breath momentarily stuck in his throat before he forces it through. Rather than the (gross!!) accusation bothering him, it's the knowledge that he's being talked about behind his back that kicks his anxiety into gear.

He doesn't even have the Fourth Wall to stabilize him either.

So he tries to make do on his own, though it's clear to see he's been successfully rattled. ]

You do seem like the type to believe everything you hear.

[ And Dokja definitely knows where this information is coming from... ]

[ Ha. He saw that. The brief uneasy flicker in Dokja's eyes, the strain in the way he tries to maintain the curve of his lips, the way his breath had come halting for a moment before trying to resume the pretense at calm. Gen's gaze only grows sharper in its focus, like a shark that's smelled blood in the water, and it's in sharp contrast to the way he keeps his movements and words purposefully languid. ]

I'm not. But I know what I can believe. Especially if it's coming from more than just one person.

[ Another half-step forward, accompanied by a tilt of the head so he can look down the slope of his nose at Dokja. ]

You really just go around being a mess at whoever you can find? Begging for them to hurt you? -- or is it pity you're looking for? Both?

[ More than one person? The panic he feels in his chest grows to a level that he can't ignore. Who else had he spoken to...? This time, the smile does leave his face, replaced by a wavering frown. He can't remember. As hard as he tries to think, his memories from the time he'd spent under the influence of the sickness are still dark and patchy at best.

What else had he said? Surely nothing about his carefully guarded secrets. ]

I was in a bad place at the time.

[ That much should be understandable. They'd all gone through the same ordeal, but only some of them had stuck through it to the end. ]

I'm fine now. Since you're so worried about me.

Worried?

[ That earns a round of laughter, sharp and ugly and derisive. God, but it feels good to see that stupid look on Dokja's face -- uncertain, skittish, nervous.

Fucking idiot. Who makes it this obvious that he's been hit right where it hurts? ]

Nah, I ain't worried. Nobody's worried for you. [ Is what he's saying true? Who cares. He's starting to hit his stride at this point, because Gen's used to digging his claws into whatever vulnerabilities he can find and tearing into people. He continues at that arrogant drawl, drawing another half-step closer. ] Everyone was having a blast talking about you, though. Masochist pig, fucked in the head, hungry for punishment. Don't they say people are at their most honest when they're drunk or sick? You sure had a good time making a mess of yourself in front of everyone you could find, huh?

[ Every word digs under his skin, wedges itself into the pieces of him already threatening to fall apart if not for his waning will barely holding them together. Fucked in the head is right. He's mentally unsound and fragile beyond belief. He knows this much.

But it still sucks? He's no stranger to having people he doesn't even know talking shit about him, but he's in a more precarious state this time and nothing is around to help keep him afloat. ]

You've got me all figured out, then?

[ He scrambles together what he can of his remaining bravado. A show, an act, it's all he can do. ]

If someone as fucked in the head as me was able to withstand the Kenoma's influence, I'd really hate to see what's wrong with you.

We're not talking about me. We're talking about you, you stupid fuck. I knew from the start there's something wrong with you, but it sure was a fun surprise seeing how much I'd underestimated it.

[ There's the grit of dirt underfoot as he takes another half-step closer. It's barely a few paces separating them now, and Gen's hand still lingers at his weapon.

His nerves are itching. It's hard resisting the urge to lash out, and it's only that forced, tenuous look of false calm on Dokja's face that reminds him to hold back for now. ]

-- but sure, go ahead, if you think you know anything about me.

[ A low huff, not quite a dismissive laugh. ]

Unlike a certain somebody, I don't go pathetically begging for pain to anyone who'll give me the time of day. You don't know shit about me.

[ Maybe it's stupid of him, but he doesn't think anything of Gen's advance. He's got the opening behind him that he can dart to should he need it, but more than that, this boy in front of him isn't a threat...

is what he thinks in an attempt to convince himself.

When he's given the opportunity to turn this conversation, he desperately grabs at it. Any more focus on Dokja threatens to pull the ground from his feet, and he needs to reorient his balance. The mark on Gen's forearm is the first thing his eyes land on, and it suddenly makes a lot of sense why they've come across each other here. ]

This is your shrine, [ he says with an incredulous huff of his breath. Almost a laugh. ] I was right about you.

[ Right about what? He doesn't elaborate, but a faint sheen of delight flickers in Dokja's eyes. The legacy of the Lover. When he'd first come across its description, finger sliding down the familiar feeling of worn pages, they'd stopped there with a tremble.

That would have been him if not for his many sacrifices. ]

[ On some level, he knows what Dokja is doing. Knows that this is a man scrabbling for room to breathe, trying to turn the tables to avoid being targeted any longer. Gen knows he should ignore it all and keep pushing forth, keep making it clear just how pathetic Dokja is, and that everyone knows it.

He knows that.

But something about that gleam in Dokja's eyes makes his nerves stand on end -- with anger, he thinks, though he can't be sure -- and Gen finds himself bristling before he can stop himself. ]

-- right about what?

[ The mention of the shrine does have him glancing ever so briefly at his surroundings, but he doesn't dare let his focus stray from Dokja for more than the span of a heartbeat. Whatever connection Dokja has made is lost on him, and his voice pitches into an irate snarl, harsh around the edges. ]

Like I'll buy into your stupid bluff! Really scrambling for options, aren't you!

[ Something a little more somber attaches itself to Dokja as he recalls the description. The Lover is characterized by the strength of their relationships with others, and their bonds run deep enough to consume them. Potentially becoming the only meaning in their life. The reason to live and the purpose to continue existing.

Force their hand, tilt them enough to one side, show them what life is like without those relationships, and the result is... Kim Dokja.

He steadies his gaze, levels it with Gen's own. ]

Who did you abandon by picking the Kenoma? Family? Friends? Someone more than that?

[ Weak, his eyes seem to say. Like they're silently chastising the boy for his choice, admonishing him for the ties he's working to severe. And jealous, perhaps, that he might still be able to mend those broken connections one day. ]

[ Gen meets Dokja's eyes without flinching, silent for a moment. Then he huffs a humorless laugh -- brief, short, barely more than a throaty exhale. ]

That's the big secret you thought you figured out? You think I'm some softie?

[ Haha. As if. His expression is cold as he speaks, voice ironed flat: ]

Nothing. I didn't abandon anything. What I left behind -- it can all burn. I'm glad it's gone.

[ It's a well-told lie. Most people might believe it -- maybe Gen even believes it himself, to an extent. But he bears the sigil he does for a reason, and a keen eye might be able to spot the way his hand's clenched to a pale-knuckled fist at his side, the way his gaze is dark with an anger too intense to match the supposed apathy of his words. When he draws another half-step closer, almost within armsreach now, there's a barely-stifled rage clear in the tension in his shoulders. ]

And unlike you, I don't need some bullshit story to cling to instead, or people to cry at. I know what I am. At least I'm not the same sort of pathetic, public embarrassment as you.

[ No, he sees it. They're small enough to easily go unnoticed, but they're what he's been looking for.

But then it's being turned on him once more. And the pressure is insurmountable, too unbearable, and Dokja buckles under the weight of it all. He snaps. ]

How do you think I got this way?!

[ He raises his voice for the first time since arriving here in this strange new world, unable to stop himself now that he's being backed into a corner. It's suffocating. All the pain and frustration and anguish that he's carrying with him spilling over the edge. It takes everything not to reach out and grab Gen by the arms, to shake him and plead with him for... for...

For something so incredibly selfish that he can't ask. ]

That was the only thing you had, you know. You aren't anything without the people you've left behind! You need them more than they need you!

[ Who... is he talking to? Dokja seems confused for a moment after he's stopped, his mind muddled and his eyes unfocused. Even as he glares at the boy in front of him, his gaze is somewhere else. Just like before when they'd fought, he's looking at someone else. ]

[ He'd grown so used to Dokja's insufferably smug, mocking, calm tone of voice that the sudden rise in volume is enough to earn a small start; Gen falters in his slow approach, shoulders tensing as he reflexively prepares himself for some sort of incoming attack.

But all caution gets thrown out the window the moment he sees that look in Dokja's eyes. Distant, unfocused, seeing past him. Like he's little more than an object to be regarded neutrally, like he's barely even there. (It's too familiar. Too raw.) ]

... so it's like that, huh.

[ Gen forces a derisive laugh, because he's grown dangerously used to focusing on causing harm, on damaging others to distract from his own pain. But there's no hiding the way his breaths are starting to come shallow, fists clenched so hard his arms are trembling. There's a breathless, almost rabid way edge to his words when he spits, ]

You're just talking about yourself. You think you know me because you're so up your own ass, you think everyone has the same issues as you. -- what do you think you know about me? About what I left behind? You selfish, stupid ... fuck!

[ In the end, it's too much to hold back. That last word is punctuated by a lunge forward as he aims to sink his fist -- into Dojka's throat this time, to shut him up.

Because he doesn't want to hear this. He hates everything that Dokja's said. He hates the thought that those people he left behind might be the only thing that ever sustained him. He hates that it's probably right. ]

[ This is a different Dokja, his vacant eyes showing that he's left himself for a moment. Checked out. His brittle mind is collapsing, the single off-center piece holding it all together at the base now budged out of place.

He feels small, ashamed of his outburst, and so he withdraws. That's right, he's so incredibly selfish. He doesn't know how to live this life any longer without the people he loves most making it worth living. And he can't face them again after what he's done to them. All of them. He needs something to lash out at, and if he forces his image on this boy, then so be it.

He's a suitable fit.

When Gen lunges forward, his reaction is almost mechanical, based purely off an instinctual drive and experience as he shoots out his hand with his usual inhuman speed to grab the boy's wrist, moving his body out of the way of the fist as he pivots on his heel, and tries to twist Gen's arm behind his back. This again. Well, he thinks distantly, the thought an echo of an echo in his current state, it's what he's after. ]

[ This again. That blank look on Dokja's face, pupils dilated and gaze unfocused, like he's looking at something far in the distance. Gen knows this feeling all too well -- the feeling of being looked at as little more than an object in the environment, as a simple obstacle -- and it makes his blood boil.

He's always been the type to be driven harder by anger than by anything else. And even as he feels fingers latch around his wrist as Dokja steps aside with all the easy of a man sidestepping a passerby, clearly outclassing him, he can't think of anything else except the desire to hurt him as much as possible. To make Dokja look at him.

Gen doubles over as he feels his arm twisted back, the joint of his shoulder straining against the pressure. But he doesn't fight it because his focus is elsewhere.

There's little warning before the ground directly below Dokja's feet suddenly fractures and wipes out sideways. Even a freak like him should be destabilized for a moment without any footing, right? And Gen uses that chance to snatch up the mace from his belt with his free hand, snarling as he gives it a wide-armed swing aimed at whatever part of Dokja's person he might be able to hit. Doesn't matter where as long as it hurts. ]

[ Before he can shove Gen against the nearest wall, the ground beneath his feet splits and unbalances him. It's unexpected and takes him by surprise, giving way to an opportunity, and if Dokja were in his right state of mind, he'd reward whatever strange ability this is by taking the brunt of the mace's hit.

But as it stands now, he's not fighting some kid. He's fighting a hallucination, a memory, and he lets go of Gen to bring both arms, now completely covered in white fur, up to block the attack. It's like hitting a solid wall, not a scratch or a mark left on his arms. In the next second, he swings out his arm to knock the weapon aside while his other hand drops down to his hip to grab at

nothing.

His sword isn't there. This memory is playing out differently.

It's another pause as he glances down with those empty eyes to where his sword normally would be hanging. What had happened to it? Broken, his mind helpfully supplies. He'd broken his sword during the fight. This fight? Yes.

... No. ]

[ He doesn't even know what's happened at first when the mace's head practically bounces off of ... something. The impact had felt odd, almost muffled, and the tactile sensation of it's so startling that Gen briefly freezes; it's almost pure luck that he doesn't lose his grip on it when Dokja swats it aside.

Dirt scrapes against his boot soles when he falls back a step, and Gen simply stares at the mass of fur coating Dokja's arms for a moment. He'd laugh at how ridiculous it looks if he weren't so pissed-off at how unfair this all is. ]

You really are a fucking freak, aren't you.

[ Gen's voice is low and raspy, almost a hiss, dripping with genuine loathing. And while he does register that something about Dokja's demeanor is strange, he can't bring himself to care at the moment, not when genuine hatred roils thick in the pit of his stomach.

Kim Dokja, a man who claimed to have nothing except some made-up story, who'd claimed he'd wanted to be killed, who goes crying pathetically to anyone who'll listen, has allies and all sorts of secret powers up his sleeve. And the fucker has the gall to lecture him that his shitty relationships back home are all he has. What does he even know.

This time, when Gen lunges forth to swing the mace once more, it's aimed squarely at Dokja's temple. If that blow were to make contact with a regular human, it would be almost guaranteed death. And he's fine with that. ]

[ Well, it's a good thing Dokja's not a regular human. In his confusion over the misplacement of a sword he'd never had in the first place, he doesn't react in time to move out of the way. The mace strikes the side of his head and the bloom of pain is so incredibly agonizing that it's the only thing that exists. For a moment, his vision blacks out and he's barely aware of the fact that he goes falling with how searing the pain from his head is.

He can't even catch himself, landing heavily on the ground as the exposed skin of his hands and wrists and face scrape against the uneven surface. It hurts, fuck, it hurts. There's no wall protecting him and so he feels every single bit of it, especially the warm spread of thick blood sliding down the contours of his face in a way that he's grown too accustomed to.

When his vision returns to him a second later, it's still not clear. He sees double of everything, objects jumping around every time he moves his eyes too quickly, but that doesn't stop him from fixing his gaze on the dagger that had fallen from the waistband of his pants and now lies in reach. A little memento he'd taken from Eustace that he'd brought with him on this trip, not that he remembers right now.

It could be his sword for all he knows. For how fucked up his mind currently is.

Anything sharp will do.

Dokja immediately snatches it up and drags it toward him, the blood still pouring from his wound and the pain wholly unbearable. But he has to keep going. He has a promise to keep with That Person. This is why he'd come here. This is the end that he'd been working so hard to achieve. ]

[ It's a shock when the blow lands; the impact of it rings all the way through the mace's length, shivering up the length of his arm. And the blood. There's a lot of blood. Gen watches in stunned silence as Dokja crumples to the ground, and all he can think about for a moment is the thud of his own pulse ringing in his ears.

His hand feels numb, his fingertips suddenly cold.

But Dokja stirs, and he tightens his grip on the weapon regardless. His field of vision's narrowed to a tiny point focused on the injured man before him, everything else fading to so much static, and he takes a step forward to close the distance between them -- even with the way the blood's drained from his face, even with the way his breaths are starting to come stifling quick and shallow.

... he'll kill him.

He needs to be able to kill. The ability to enact violence is the only thing that's brought him this far, the only way he's ever managed to accomplish anything meaningful in his life, and so he needs to be able to do this. Even if the iron stench of blood is starting to make him feel a little sick, even if his lungs feel tight, he needs to be able to kill whatever obstacle stands in his way.

Vaguely, he's aware that there's the sound of something scraping across the floor and the glimmer of metal as Dokja scrabbles across the floor. But with the entirety of his focus on what he needs to accomplish, he can't spare that observation any real thought.

The sound of a hoarse, rasping breath is all the warning Dokja gets before Gen lunges forth, aiming a kick at Dokja's gut where he's still doubled over on the floor, aiming to lay him flat. Already his arm's cocked back, prepared to deal the finishing blow.

(Funny how that wasn't his first move, though. It would just take one more swing of the mace to end the job, right? Why does the weapon suddenly feel so heavy?) ]

[ There's a strange overlay happening here that he can't make sense of. A film reel laid on top of a different reel and played at the same time, familiar scenes mixed in with scenes that he's never seen before, and the ache in his head grows and grows and grows.

He doesn't understand what's happening.

This is exactly where he needs to be right now.

The kick knocks the wind out of him and Dokja goes sprawling on his back, mouth open as he tries to suck in a breath that doesn't seem to want to cooperate with him. He's almost a second too late when the mace comes swinging down at him, but he manages to move just enough to send the same white fur from before to cover his hand and then grab hold of the mace before it crushes him.

A nasty blow meant to kill. This isn't the same boy who had curled in on himself in fear, covering his head with his arms as Dokja tried and then tried again to kill him.

Then who...?

It doesn't matter, a different voice seems to say. Urges him on as his other hand grips the handle of his dagger tighter and then drives it toward Gen's wrist. To cut, to stab, anything at this point. But with all the blood creeping down his face and obscuring his vision, he's having a hard time making out where it is he needs to go. ]

closed to gen.

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