( heresy? well, that likely explains why nothing along those lines had ever come up in makoto's surface-level research, though he hadn't dug too much deeper in the realms of theology than the major faiths that the world had to offer and some of the more well-known mythologies of antiquity. when none of these really offered him the answers that he was looking for (or, rather, the answers he was hoping for), the well had been poisoned by that point. individuals of faith who treasured ethics, morality, purity, and chastity had little to nothing to offer some deviant creature like him, not without him either attempting or being forced into becoming something altogether different. just as much as that had angered him, it had wounded him as well. back then, human morality had still even had a place rooted within his heart, but he'd had no good way to mediate between it and the violent urges that seemed to surge stronger and stronger by each passing week.
summoning a demon to give his life away to had been meant to be his ultimate compromise, but it hadn't gone the way he had planned, much for the worse of everyone involved. and now he was here, sat next to yet another demon, listening to him speak of gnosticism and wondering just where a recursive misfit such as himself factored in to any of these equations. )
Mm... That would be a little too convenient, wouldn't it? ( no, he doesn't necessarily believe that valentinus managed to stumble across the hidden truth of the world. for one, makoto isn't necessarily certain that all universes that had fallen to the Kenoma shared such a figure in their history. for another, language itself was mutable, in his experience. he speaks horosian naturally, but what is the interstitial tissue between it and the other languages he spoke? could it simply be that these terms were being used because they were the closest fit that the languages he knew had to offer?
it's all interesting, but none of it is a revelation that would change their situation here and how he chose to view it. )
An abandoned throne might not be completely irrelevant to this place, however.
( he says it musingly, remembering the cavern that the first group of Aions had been subjected to the Kenoma in: the throne room, ringed by eleven stone thrones bearing the sigils of the Legacies... and one that was blasted and broken beyond all recognition.
as the conversation turns towards himself, the younger demon grows... nervous? it's hard to say, but he does seem to have an aimless and nebulous energy about him as he searches out a way to answer the questions. )
...Both, in a way. At the time, it wasn't much of a choice.
("I permit you to answer 'yes' in agreement," is how J had phrased it, after all. but at the time... he had wanted to agree. he had wanted to believe in what he had offered him, what he had promised him. acceptance, belonging, love... a foolish dream. )
I had summoned and contracted with a demon myself, knowing what it would cost me in the end. But rather than kill me and collect my soul as currency, he kept it and took me into Hell to become a demon instead. There - ... There was nothing that I left behind on Earth that I cared about losing, or that felt the same for me. But the deal that I accepted was a far rawer one than I originally believed.
( his tone of voice gradually seeps itself in bitterness, growing dangerously brittle. )
always excited to pontificate
summoning a demon to give his life away to had been meant to be his ultimate compromise, but it hadn't gone the way he had planned, much for the worse of everyone involved. and now he was here, sat next to yet another demon, listening to him speak of gnosticism and wondering just where a recursive misfit such as himself factored in to any of these equations. )
Mm... That would be a little too convenient, wouldn't it? ( no, he doesn't necessarily believe that valentinus managed to stumble across the hidden truth of the world. for one, makoto isn't necessarily certain that all universes that had fallen to the Kenoma shared such a figure in their history. for another, language itself was mutable, in his experience. he speaks horosian naturally, but what is the interstitial tissue between it and the other languages he spoke? could it simply be that these terms were being used because they were the closest fit that the languages he knew had to offer?
it's all interesting, but none of it is a revelation that would change their situation here and how he chose to view it. )
An abandoned throne might not be completely irrelevant to this place, however.
( he says it musingly, remembering the cavern that the first group of Aions had been subjected to the Kenoma in: the throne room, ringed by eleven stone thrones bearing the sigils of the Legacies... and one that was blasted and broken beyond all recognition.
as the conversation turns towards himself, the younger demon grows... nervous? it's hard to say, but he does seem to have an aimless and nebulous energy about him as he searches out a way to answer the questions. )
...Both, in a way. At the time, it wasn't much of a choice.
( "I permit you to answer 'yes' in agreement," is how J had phrased it, after all. but at the time... he had wanted to agree. he had wanted to believe in what he had offered him, what he had promised him. acceptance, belonging, love... a foolish dream. )
I had summoned and contracted with a demon myself, knowing what it would cost me in the end. But rather than kill me and collect my soul as currency, he kept it and took me into Hell to become a demon instead. There - ... There was nothing that I left behind on Earth that I cared about losing, or that felt the same for me. But the deal that I accepted was a far rawer one than I originally believed.
( his tone of voice gradually seeps itself in bitterness, growing dangerously brittle. )
Is something like that unheard of to you?