she hadn't actually known what to do after "pull him up and pretend that everything is normal". no doubt she'd have just stood there gaping at him like an idiot -- which she's tempted to do even now. but he's moving, and it's easy enough to move after him. pretend that this is yet another scheme they're carrying out. she looks at the books scattered on the ground and a part of her wants to stop and pick them up, but her hands are full. one hand holding a book, the other reaching out to grab a fistful of cloak.
no way in hell she's letting either of these things go -- letting him go. this whole moment feels as fragile as spun glass, like it'll all fall apart as soon as she says a single word.
...then shouldn't she say something? if it's a lie? better to have it all collapse, rather than let it keep going, right? she'd done the same to the other dokja. she'd broken him apart in her selfish rage, too bitter to accept the kind lie over the cold truth. she should do the same now. it's only right. it's only fair.
...
she keeps walking instead, because sometimes you're a hypocrite and you don't even care, and sometimes you want the illusion to keep going just a little bit longer, because you're just so tired of waking up.]
picks him up mine now
she hadn't actually known what to do after "pull him up and pretend that everything is normal". no doubt she'd have just stood there gaping at him like an idiot -- which she's tempted to do even now. but he's moving, and it's easy enough to move after him. pretend that this is yet another scheme they're carrying out. she looks at the books scattered on the ground and a part of her wants to stop and pick them up, but her hands are full. one hand holding a book, the other reaching out to grab a fistful of cloak.
no way in hell she's letting either of these things go -- letting him go. this whole moment feels as fragile as spun glass, like it'll all fall apart as soon as she says a single word.
...then shouldn't she say something? if it's a lie? better to have it all collapse, rather than let it keep going, right? she'd done the same to the other dokja. she'd broken him apart in her selfish rage, too bitter to accept the kind lie over the cold truth. she should do the same now. it's only right. it's only fair.
...
she keeps walking instead, because sometimes you're a hypocrite and you don't even care, and sometimes you want the illusion to keep going just a little bit longer, because you're just so tired of waking up.]