[ Each and every single word wedges itself into the cracks formed along Dokja's heart to further splinter it apart. The pain is excruciating, and he tears his gaze away from the other man's, not allowing himself a glimpse of that softness.
He doesn't deserve it. Not Dokja. He's the reason for Yoo Joonghyuk's suffering, his eventual descents into madness, the torturous life that the regressor had led for almost two-thousand turns.
And so he pushes him away. ]
It is what I want, [ he says, voice shaking. His throat feels tight, there's a dampness around his eyes, and if the Fourth Wall was here, it would be mocking Dokja for crying again. ] Stay away from me.
[ This is for Joonghyuk's sake, he tells... no, lies to himself. He's a coward, and he can't fully admit that he wants the other man away from him for selfish reasons. Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung, the story that he loves most, all of it... for someone as worthless as Kim Dokja...
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He doesn't deserve it. Not Dokja. He's the reason for Yoo Joonghyuk's suffering, his eventual descents into madness, the torturous life that the regressor had led for almost two-thousand turns.
And so he pushes him away. ]
It is what I want, [ he says, voice shaking. His throat feels tight, there's a dampness around his eyes, and if the Fourth Wall was here, it would be mocking Dokja for crying again. ] Stay away from me.
[ This is for Joonghyuk's sake, he tells... no, lies to himself. He's a coward, and he can't fully admit that he wants the other man away from him for selfish reasons. Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung, the story that he loves most, all of it... for someone as worthless as Kim Dokja...
He turns away, makes to leave. ]