[A sick joke is precisely what it feels like to Estinien, too. If anyone was to survive, why him? He's been happy to offer up his life. He was living on gifted time, anyway. There are so many he knew that deserved salvation more... though he's not certain he should wish for them to be in this situation in particular.
When he thinks of their grief, another part of him wonders if that's not why it is him here and not them. This reality is a hell in of itself. What purpose is there to it, he wants to ask... yet memories of the conflict he just faced in Ultima Thule causes him to hesitate.
After all they'd endured, he wouldn't let despair stop them. He'd never imagined saying that as the one who survived. His expression hardens slightly.]
...Are the people of this realm responsible, I wonder? Is what we saw the truth?
[In some ways, it's him clinging to the only balm he knows against such suffering. He needs a mission to follow, a quest to lose himself in. And if all he has is lost, all that's left is to avenge them.]
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When he thinks of their grief, another part of him wonders if that's not why it is him here and not them. This reality is a hell in of itself. What purpose is there to it, he wants to ask... yet memories of the conflict he just faced in Ultima Thule causes him to hesitate.
After all they'd endured, he wouldn't let despair stop them. He'd never imagined saying that as the one who survived. His expression hardens slightly.]
...Are the people of this realm responsible, I wonder? Is what we saw the truth?
[In some ways, it's him clinging to the only balm he knows against such suffering. He needs a mission to follow, a quest to lose himself in. And if all he has is lost, all that's left is to avenge them.]
I cannot allow it.