( really, he can't argue there. it had been the invasive influence of that accursed miasma that had set him against rejecting the Kenoma for as long as he had himself. makoto has a bit of a contrary nature after all — he's prone to violent fits of indignation. he's under the impression that if he had been spoken to rationally, he would have accepted it far sooner, but it seems that drinking the damnable stuff is necessary to one's soul becoming one with the demands of the Kenoma.
after a long moment, makoto leans forward; there's a new and dangerous gleam in his pale eyes, a fire that seems to burn with personal experience. )
You do not always get a choice.
( that he is before liem now as the creature that he is was not his choice. had he been given what he wanted, he would have passed away cleanly at the end of his contract with J, his soul as unblemished by mortal sin as he could have ever hoped, given the morbid desires he was seemingly born with. but no. it had been J's choice to take him into hell and make him the centerpiece of a new and incredibly unfair personal game. no, in that or this or any other existence, they do not always get choices. sometimes they are simply pawns on the board of players so much more powerful than they are that they are impossible to fully comprehend. makoto is aware that the state liem is in. he had been in it himself, and when he had been deepest in his despair with Kenoma sickness, he would have said and done anything to lash out at what had been done with him.
but very soon he would realize the scope of what it is he's now involved with. the Regent, and the extent of their power and influence. in the end it barely matters how much you believe in the cause — it's whether or not you have a shred of self-preservation left in you. )
You are in the state that you are in now because it will buy you the right to survive.( and perhaps that's what J had thought when he had breadcrumbed makoto along the path that had made him into what he is today. he's not going to think about that now. ) After you earn that, then you have no shortage of choices to make about how you spend your time here.
no subject
after a long moment, makoto leans forward; there's a new and dangerous gleam in his pale eyes, a fire that seems to burn with personal experience. )
You do not always get a choice.
( that he is before liem now as the creature that he is was not his choice. had he been given what he wanted, he would have passed away cleanly at the end of his contract with J, his soul as unblemished by mortal sin as he could have ever hoped, given the morbid desires he was seemingly born with. but no. it had been J's choice to take him into hell and make him the centerpiece of a new and incredibly unfair personal game. no, in that or this or any other existence, they do not always get choices. sometimes they are simply pawns on the board of players so much more powerful than they are that they are impossible to fully comprehend. makoto is aware that the state liem is in. he had been in it himself, and when he had been deepest in his despair with Kenoma sickness, he would have said and done anything to lash out at what had been done with him.
but very soon he would realize the scope of what it is he's now involved with. the Regent, and the extent of their power and influence. in the end it barely matters how much you believe in the cause — it's whether or not you have a shred of self-preservation left in you. )
You are in the state that you are in now because it will buy you the right to survive. ( and perhaps that's what J had thought when he had breadcrumbed makoto along the path that had made him into what he is today. he's not going to think about that now. ) After you earn that, then you have no shortage of choices to make about how you spend your time here.