[ speaking of terrifying what-ifs. he shakes his head, frowning faintly. ]

I got lucky. That's all.

[ if moiraine hadn't found them — what could he have done on his own? he's hardly rejected the darkness once to willingly submit to something that looks a lot like it now. but his objections wouldn't have gotten him very far. what he wanted wouldn't have mattered. ]

Mind you, I wouldn't have chosen to leave with him no matter what, but Amos wouldn't've taken no for an answer.

[ so, no, rand isn't particularly deserving of any credit for defiance. it came too close to being wasted breath. ]